Sunday, October 30, 2005

And So Ends Another Weekend

It all started so well. Managed to tidy a bit of a backlog at work and then the bosses blew smoke up my arse for a bit. I rather enjoyed that.

After work I parked my car near the city and wandered in to the barber shop where I normally have a fight with the lawnmower. That's "have a haircut" if you don't speak Strine. And what an interesting night it turned out to be.

I arrived about 5:40 I guess and I had to stand and wait it was that packed. Shortly afterwards someone got up to have their haircut and I managed to park my arse. A bloke walked in and straight away you could tell that he had issues. Let's call him Old Psycho, shall we? He would have been mid-thirties though. The giveaways included the thickset brow, the racquetball racquet poking out of his back pack, the moustache, his hunched back and the simpleton manner of his speech. Immediately he voiced his displeasure at the queue.

My turn came and the young lass asked me to take a seat and would I mind waiting a short time while she swept the floor. That didn't bother me in the slightest. Three or four minutes later she attended me and asked how I would like my haircut. Not being my normal quick-witted self I didn't answer "off" but instead mentioned that I would like a flattop. She apologised profusely as she didn't feel comfortable with that style and didn't wish to do it. No matter. I would wait for one of the Tims to do it. Yes, two guys by the name of Tim work in the shop. So I sat back down.

Now Tim the Bosnian had just started on a guy, who incidentally came in after me and jumped at the chance when asked "Who's next?" as I had unwittingly prepared myself for quite a wait and wasn't expecting to be called up so soon. Italian Tim was nearing completion of his client. Old Psycho started grumbling loudly about the wait. And then the girl who was free next packed up her stuff and prepared to go home. Old Psycho had a go at her because she should be working until 9 pm and how dare she leave at 6. I'm sure he didn't take into account that she probably started when the shop opened and shouldn't have to work an 13 hour day.

Then another guy came in and he had an appointment with Bosnian Tim from 30 minutes ago. Well, didn't Old Psycho fire up. "You can't make appointments. That's playing favourites. It should be first come, first served." Not a happy chappy was he. The girl who was going to cut my hair refused pointblank to cut his hair with his attitude. Italian Tim was just about to do my hair but he ended up doing Old Psycho's hair instead to placate him. Bosnian Tim came over very apologetically but I said that it was better for everyone in the shop that he get his done and get out of there.

So the African-American dude, don't know his name, got the job of trimming my hair follicles. When I mentioned that I wanted a flattop he said, "Yeah, I can do flat-tops. I started cutting flattops when I was in school. Everybody in the neighbourhood used to come to me to get a flattop. In fact, everyone from the city came to me for a flattop. I've been doing flattops since about '80." Tickets please. In fact, this guy did have tickets for his customers he was that popular. Any black guy that came into the shop did those silly group handshakes and threw in a few, "You da man" or "What's up my man?" comments. And when one sexy lady came in he gave her a hug and peck on the cheek. Yep, with his diamond earring in each ear he looked like a fairly fly guy.

I was sitting next to Old Psycho for my haircut so I couldn't comment much during. Once he'd left though my barber told me that "He looks like the sort of bloke that will go home and get a gun and come back and shoot everybody." I said that he looks as though he'll be going home to tell his mum and bring her back to the shop to tell the staff off. Not long afterwards an older bloke came in who could have passed for Old Psycho's dad. Woah.

I was tempted to leave my haircut like this. My barber dude in the background.
Is there an alien in the house?
Not too thin on top.
Secret Service agent. Maybe.
Man in black.

Friday night saw me watching the International Rules match between Australia and Ireland. It was the only tv that I watched since last Sunday.

Saturday morning I was spent reading a few blogs and downloading some pictures from my camera. I had to rush around a bit to make my way to Collier Park Golf Club for my 8:30 tee time. I played for the third week in a row with Shayne and we were joined by a Fijian lad by the name of Ratu. On the practice greens my chipping and putting were nearly spot on so I was looking forward to a good game.

Struck my first drive into the trees but I did have a shot that necessitated playing out of the sandy lie, under a tree, over the lake and over the bunker to reach safety and still have a chance of getting a par. Well, I was in a good mood and took the shot. And it came off wonderfully although I ended up just short of the green. I exclaimed that "It's going to be a good round today." No word of a lie but for the first 11 holes I hit my putt to within two feet of the hole, no matter how far away I was. That wasn't too great on the 6th as I put the ball two feet from the hole from a greenside bunker and promptly missed the putt and put it two feet away! I shot a 47 on the front nine with 17 putts.

Ratu is only a young fella and before playing on the previous Thursday he hadn't played for three years. He's at flying school in Jandakot and already has his pilot's licence. Before his visa expires in April he wants to get his commercial pilot's licence. He left his sandwedge on the 4th green and didn't realise until the 7th green that that was the case. Luckily the group behind us had picked it up. This kid hit some wonderful shots and I couldn't believe that his handicap was 32 and that he was using rented clubs that he had no feel for. Give him three months and he'd be playing of 16-18 in my opinion.

On the tee at the par-5 8th Shayne spoke as I was teeing off and I shanked it left into a tree. With a couple of great shots and a fabulous iron I was on the green and putting for par. Lipped out to be two feet from the hole. I could have killed him.

Ratu chipped in on the 12th and then Shayne hit the pin on the same hole with a putt from about 40 feet away. Once again, I left my putt within two feet of the hole. I think that I only left two putts short in the entire round.

On the par-4 13th I drove into the trees and then hit another miracle shot through all of the trees and onto the green. Amazing. It was going to be my day. I started commenting on how long I used to drive the ball when I was a younger man and did a practice swing using a swing reminiscent of my younger days. It felt really good so I tried it out on the next hole, another par-5, and struck I hit a monster drive, which just rolled into the water and I still recovered to make bogey.

Ratu on the left and Shayne on the right. I'm not really as white as Michael Jackson - I've got lots of sunscreen on so that I don't get burnt.

Ratu proceeded to leave his wallet in the pro shop after we finished the game. Young boy makes me laugh.

Had a couple of disappointing 3-putts for a total of 20 but still shot a 47 on the back nine. A total of 94 off the stick. Only five weeks ago when I last played at Collier I shot a 112 off the stick. I'd have to say that it is my lowest score on a par-72 course.

Let's have a look at the last three games, shall we? ACR - Australian Course Rating.

Whaleback - 5570m, Par-71, ACR-67, 95 strokes. (28 over ACR)
Marangaroo - 5616m, Par-72, CR-68, 95 strokes. (27 over CR)
Collier Park - Island/Pines 6184m, Par-72, ACR-72, 94 strokes. (22 over ACR)

I've realistically added 600m and taken off 6 shots in the last three weekends. An if a couple of putts dropped I'd continue doing it.

Last night I was chatting away on IM to a friend from uni who is back in Singapore. She may pay us a visit in December and that would be fantastic. It was very late by the time I headed to bed and so I didn't feel like making my bed. Slept on my son's beda and awoke this morning with a vey painful crick in my neck. That will teach me for being lazy and I will have to visit my friendly chiropractor tomorrow after work.

Sunday morning saw me was the dishes which had been piling up. After brekkie I painted the cornices in the living and dining rooms along with the passageway where the ceiling was given a complete paint job. It appears to have come up ok and looks a bit fresher. I plan to do the walls once Miky comes back. It'll be her job to decide what colour to do them. I don't like getting blamed for anything that goes wrong.

After lunch I journeyed into the city to do the rounds of the tourist shops as I was looking for an akubra for a Korean friend. Managed to pick up a nice one and got one for myself in the process. Another item on the list was a stack of books for the friends' kids that we plan to visit on our trip around Korea. English books are hard to find and expensive to purchase over there. They should be well received.

On the way home I dropped into Bunnings to get some lawn seed. I'm not happy about how sparse my backyard is after five weeks of loving care and thought that some overseeding was required. Got quite a bit of info from the lady who knows all about gardens and I was informed that I should buy some dynamic lifter as the problem was probably very poor soil. I knew this to be the case so didn't argue.

Upon returning home I watered the backyard and did some more weeding (does it ever stop?) in the meantime. I then cut the dynamic lifter bag open seconds before reading that it wasn't recommended for lawns. Too late she cried! Raked the sand and then spread the dynamic lifter. Raked over the dynamic lifter and then broadcast the lawn seed. Raked over that and watered again. Just before coming inside I decided to cover the backyard with black and some clear plastic. Trying to get a little greenhouse effect going here. Yesterday was a beautiful day and reached 22.9 degrees C. Today was quite wet but it still reached 22.3.

Time will tell if my little experiment has worked. And I've only got three weeks to get it right. Where the lawn has grown well it looks great and is very thick. Hopefully the plastic will stop the birds from eating the seed as well. One flew in just moments after I turned the sprinkler off. My place must be on the pigeons' fine dining list.

I've spent the last hour and a half typing this up. Did anybody bother reading it all? Once Miky returns the posts will be smaller as I won't be allowed to spend so long blogging.


lori said...

I dunno..

i like reading the novels. Gives me something to look forward to each time I view the site.

lori said...

ps: nice flattop

Hammy said...

You're too kind.

Hammysmum said...

Secret agent? You look like an escapee from somewhere.

Ben said...

You can't be an alien, secret agent, or a man in black since you mentioned them. You must be a saleman since you did not mentioned it, or a (...) since you did not mentioned that one too.

Hammy said...

Ben - quite a clever retort. I'll pay that one.

Mum - pay that one too. Should I put my goatee-being-removed pics on again?

Hammysmum said...

Perish the thought!!! Why does Miky have any say in how much time you spend blogging?

Hammy said...

Well, there's a vote of confidence from my Ma. I can't spend all my day in front of a computer, can I? There are family things to get done.

Hammysmum said...

I wasn't suggesting for a moment that you neglect your fammily duties. Surely your blogging doesn't take ALL day every day?

Hammy said...

Getting photos ready, uploading, researching some links etc does take a bit of time. And I can take up to an hour and a half to type it up.

Hammysmum said...

Slow, aren't you? Better cut and paste!

Hammy said...

And just where am I supposed to cut and my own bloody words from? Hey? I don't have a program that records my voice and types it up for me.

Hammysmum said...

Just a little dig, dear. You are always having a go at me because I can't cut and paste!!!! You reckon it saves time.

Hammy said...

You half got me. But half still took the bait.