Merry Christmas Everyone

No, I haven't gone mad. I've been like that for quite some time. There's good reason for it. I glanced at my watch today and it said that it was the 25th. I know damn well that it's only the 24th. Hmm, perhaps it has wound itself forward by a month and a day, something I have mentioned previously. And so it had transpired. My watch said that today was Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas everyone. And they say that Christmas comes but once a year. True, unless your watch has a fault.

I Need A New Skin

I'm in need of a new skin. It's got nothing to do with being wrinkly or scarred or anything. Early this morning I went to the freezer to grab a loaf of bread. Here's a Frugal Bastard tip - keep your bread in the freezer as it will stay fresh for longer. As I was reaching for the door handle I caught sight of something that made me jump out of my skin. It was a huntsman spider and it frightened six months growth out of me. I positively jumped out of my skin. That's why I need a new one. More information on Huntsman spider from www.australianfauna.com and australianmuseum.net.au.

Rather than spray him, partly because he was on my boy's school photograph, I grabbed an empty coffee jar and put him inside. He was wider than the jar and I might have squashed his legs a bit. Left him there during the day. One of my colleagues said I should let him go in a park, far away. He was still quite well when I returned home from taekwondo so I took him across the road and released him. Such a fine specimen.

Huntsman spider closeup.

Huntsman spider in coffee jar.

I tried to provide some form of comparison but the size is obscured by glass.

Huntsman spider released.


And to think that we watched Spiderman the movie over the weekend. Coincidence?

The Return of Monkey

No, I'm not talking about that iconic show that used to be on the ABC - Monkey. I'm talking about his toy monkey that we bought for him when he was a sick one year old. Monkey has been with him ever since. He even goes on holidays with him.

That's where the trouble started. As we were in a hurry to leave our hotel in Adelaide in the early hours in October we inadvertently left him behind. The Boy noticed this at bedtime that night. I rang the hotel and the cleaner had found him and put him aside. They said that they'd send it cash-on-delivery. No problem with paying for that as Monkey means a lot to The Boy.

A couple of weeks went by and no sign of Monkey. I rang the hotel. He was still there. They would send him. Another week went by and no sign of Monkey. I rang the hotel again and was told that he was still there and that they would definitely arrange for him to be posted to us.

On Friday Monkey was delivered. Thankfully. There will be no more family holidays for Monkey I can tell you.

Water Balloon Stupidity

The Boy decided to have fun with water balloons. Not that we had any of the water bomb variety but we had some party balloons left over. And they do hold a bit of water. After unsuccessfully trying a couple of times to get The Boy to do it I told him to give me a go. As long as he didn't stuff the camera work up.

First video he did stuff up but the balloon just bounced off my head and exploded on the lawn. So, we made the next balloon quite big to ensure a decent explosion on my head. Video is below folks.

Is There An IT Guru In The House?

Yesterday I attempted to send an email. All went well until I hit the send button. Then for some strange reason I was informed that there was a problem. I checked the modem. Hmm, only three lights instead of four. The modem was reset. Same problem, same number of lights. I was starting to think that this could be serious. Perhaps the modem was worn out after some six years of use. Then a complete lack of lights on the router caught my eye. I put my electrician skills to work and checked all the connections. The power supply was plugged in. The extension board that the power supply was plugged into was turned on. Hopefully not another failed powerboard, I hoped. Then I checked the outlet on the wall. Sure enough, I'd managed to turn only one outlet on and not two.

What a duffer. Didn't need to be an IT guru or an electrician. Maybe the big toe wasn't working properly that morning.

What Do You Call...?

Q1. What do you call a man who's an atheist?
Q2. What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?
Q3. What do you call a man who sits outside your front door?
Q4. What do you call a man with a coloured birth spot?
Q5. What do you call a man with five balaklavas and a helmet?


A1. Godfrey (Thought of that one myself, I did).
A2. Russell.
A3. Matt.
A4. Mark.
A5. Anything you like because he can't hear you.

Lazy Weekend

I didn't do a great deal this weekend. Part of the problem was that Tiger Woods was on telly in prime time. Yes, he was playing in Australia. And it was great to be able to watch him at my leisure. On Saturday, during the Australian Open at Kingston Heath in Victoria, he played like an ordinary hacker off the tee and fairway. His short game was brilliant though and recovery shots were excellent. Although he struggled Tiger didn't do much damage to the scoreboard. On Sunday though it was back to the Woods that we all know as he attacked the pins and drove beautifully. Poetry in motion really. And Woods is a deserved winner of the Australian Open.

Signs That The Global Financial Crisis Is Still Biting

They tell us that Australia missed out on a technical recession. They tell us the United States is coming out of recession. But they don't tell us the whole story. On Sunday I saw someone that had obviously been bitten badly by the global financial crisis (GFC). The poor guy had a white Porsche Boxster and on the dashboard was a box of store brand tissues. The GFC had affected this guy so much that he couldn't even afford Kleenex tissues.

I might have even given him my change if I'd seen him begging on the street I felt that sorry for him.