Friday, July 31, 2009

Goodbye Mr Cricket?

Mike Hussey is known as Mr Cricket. He lives and breathes the game is is an utter perfectionist. We he first broke into the test ranks for Australia he made tons of runs at an average of about 80. Not quite Bradmanesque but pretty close. Lately he hasn't done too well with the bat. He's always been a good fielder but he doesn't take as many catches as he should. Not that he's dropping them. He just doesn't lay a finger on them. I was wondering about his eyesight, actually.

Then Ricky Ponting spotted something in Hussey's technique that was flawed following the second test at Lords. In the subsequent tour match Hussey was in the runs once again. All seemed well in the world.

Fast forward to the third test at Edgbaston. Hussey, first ball he faces, leaves and is bowled. If that isn't the old flaw rearing its ugly head it must be a new one. My father was always disgusted when a batsman was bowled after leaving a ball. "You've got a bat so use it" he would say. I couldn't agree more. Hit the bloody thing I say.

If Hussey doesn't do a Graeme Wood in the second innings, i.e. score a century just when it looks like he's about to be dumped, I'd say he's close to being dumped. And that would be a tragedy.

I don't know if I've been bowled after leaving a ball or not. Going back a few years, about 1992 I'd say, I was playing a match for North Gambier C grade at Wandilo against Dartmoor (I think). It was the first match of the season and the captain decided to have me open the innings. Not being one to throw my wicket away, my father told me to value my wicket, I batted steadily. After making 30 in 30 overs, not an overwhelming effort in a 42 overs-a-side one day match, I stretched forward to an outswinger, left it and next thing I knew the umpire said I was out. A glance back to the stumps and I noticed that my stumps had been broken. But there was no way it could possibly have hit the stumps so I was incredulous. I even asked square leg what had happened and he said that the wicket keeper had taken the ball in front of the stumps and broken them. That's not out by the rules. So I headed back to the crease as square leg had said that I wasn't out. David Cooper, the umpire at the bowler's end at the time, insisted that I was out and raised his finger. As I was heading off even the wicket keeper called me back but Cooper was having none of it. I'm pretty sure that I've not spoken to him since.

Nick, can you tell me what the hell happened?

Moral of the story is really - you have a bat so use it.

Just A Thought

Had a thought at work today. Would an overweight schizophrenic who dieted successfully become the person they once were? Or at least one of the people they were/are?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Strangest SMS Ever?

I received a pretty strange SMS not long ago. Yes, even though I'm a frugal bastard, I have a mobile. On a miniscule expenditure plan however. Here's the SMS:

I have no idea who it's from but the lamebrain has texted me several times previously. I must have a number similar to a geeky friend.

Ok, I understand that it is a Web address and has something to do with port 8002 but after that I'm lost. Any ideas?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Not So Enjoyable Weekend

Sunday started off reasonably well. Fruit and vege shopping early on, I cooked pancakes and crumpets for breakfast, and a bit of a read of the paper. Come lunchtime and we didn't head off to the pool for a dip. Thought I might do that later. The Boy wanted to play outside for a bit and then I decided to mow the lawn. Well, The Boy thought that that was a fun idea and so he did most of the mowing. Dammit, he spoiled my fun. I was rather looking forward to doing that. I can be a bit weird at times.

Later on in the arvo the missus wanted us out of the house so The Boy and I headed off to Subway before a kick of the footy and an afternoon swim. Well, that was the plan. We grabbed lunch at Subway, where I specifically asked for a cookie without nuts, and, as it turned out, we were served with a macadamia cookie. Right, that's certainly not got any nuts in it. And what do you think The Boy ate for lunch first? You guessed it, the cookie filled with nuts. And with his instantaneous allergic reaction that buggered up lunch. I gave the person who had served us a serve. The different cookies were labelled very poorly and I guess mistakes can be made when all of the workers have English as a second language. I'm just glad that the nut allergy only makes him very sick and not comatose.

He did feel better a bit later and we listened to the footy in the car. It wasn't life threatening but he felt rather sick. Enough time had lapsed and we decided to go into the pool. As soon as we left the car he complained of a stomach ache so I took him home. Into bed with a hot water bottle. About an hour and one big toilet break later he felt much better.

By the late afternoon I was seriously regretting missing my weekly swim and hit the cycle path nearby pretending to be in the Tour de France. In my head at least as my exploits on the bike were a bit wuss-like. I covered 10 1/2 km and had a reasonable hitout. So many people out walking their dogs at that time of the day. The ride was quite enjoyable.

Monday evening and I couldn't wait another week for a swim so we went to the pool after tea. It was pretty busy and I'll no doubt make the effort for my Sunday swim. And The Boy won't be getting a Kids' Pack with cookie anytime soon. You can be sure of that. It's a footlong sub or nothing. Just to be on the safe side.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Chinese Criminals and Cricket Villains

Chinese criminals and cricket villains - they'll all related. I'll try to explain.

Stern Hu, a Rio Tinto executive, currently stands accused of bribery and corruption in China. He has allegedly bribed 16 steel mills in China into giving away secrets relating to the iron ore industry and seriously jeopardised the wealth of China as a whole. Just how is that related to cricket? Well, I have the distinct feeling that there will be 16 executives in China willing to “go into bat” for Stern Hu. Just as long as Andrew Strauss isn't fielding in the slips for them. I understand that China uses the death penalty to punish white collar criminals along with blue collar criminals. The 16, at least, involved will be doing their utmost to convince the authorities that Stern Hu hasn't done anything wrong at all. Maybe only to save their own skins if nothing else. It is also well known that the Chinese authorities send the bill for the bullet to the family of executed criminals.

Speaking of criminals that also ties in with the cricket currently. Just ask any dinky-di Australian how he feels about England captain Andrew Strauss at the moment and his claim to have taken a catch to dismiss Aussie opener Phillip Hughes although replays indicate that the ball hit the ground. He didn't even have the sportsmanship to ask for the umpires to send the decision upstairs to the third umpire for review. I have to say that the umpires made the decision on the ground though and didn't feel the need to get a second opinion. But with another wicket falling to a no-ball and a third top order batsman for Australia being given out caught when he didn't hit the ball it was almost a criminal outcome for the match for England to win. It's not so much sour grapes. We have the technology and we should be utilising it. If there is a catch then the third umpire should immediately review the video to see if the bowler overstepped the line. There would be ample time to recall the batsmen if something had been overlooked. Ricky Ponting must have been livid with the decisions that went against Australia. Perhaps he has a short memory though. Didn't he do things that antagonised the Indians when we last played in India? Is Ricky feeling tired or stressed? Maybe he'd feel better if he took his Swisse Ultivites.

Executives bribing Chinese companies for state secrets and England cricket captains doing anything to win a game of cricket. They'll all criminals. But the wrong guy might end up getting shot for his behaviour. He he.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Who's The Biggest Loser In Michael Jackson's Death?

I pose the question - Who is the biggest loser in Michael Jackson's death?

His children - no. They will have more than generous trust funds. Michael, P. Michael and Michael II will spend more time with their cousins and other extended family. They'll also experience a closer to normal existence.

His father - nah. He's got a new record deal/label and has spent all of his time following his son's death spruiking it.

His brothers - nup. They'll just regroup as the Jackson 4. Plenty more opportunities to perform and be interviewed about how life is with Michael. Lots in it for them.

No, the real loser is Heather Mills? Yes, Heather Mills. Think about it. I believe Michael Jackson had a deal with Paul McCartney that ownership of The Beatles catalogue would be returned to to Macca upon Wacko Jacko's demise. So, if poor old Heather Mills had been able to put up with Sir Paul for another year or so her divorce would have been worth a cool half billion or so instead of her poorly US$50m settlement. I've never felt so sorry for such a gold digger.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Changing A Tap In 25 Easy Steps

1. After noticing that the tap is leaking through the spout, unusual as that is, head to hardware store.
2. Select tap.
3. Turn off water.
4. Remove tap.
5. Start losing temper when thread holding tap in place won't loosen.
6. Buggerise around for a period of time in an uncomfortable position until coming to the realisation that the sink has to come out!
7. Unscrew the pipework beneath the sink.
8. Unscrew the clips holding the sink in place.
9. Lift the sink out of position and remove.
10. Use tools and break the thread holding tap in place because it had rusted and couldn't possibly have been undone in situ.
11. Fit the new tap. Easy.
12. Remove all of the old silicone from around the sink as it won't seal again when putting the sink back.
13. Check the shed for silicone for wet areas.
14. Ride bike to hardware store once no silicone for wet areas can be found.
15. Ride bike home.
16. Seal beneath sink.
17. Install sink.
18. Find screws for holding clips that were dropped when removing sink.
19. Tighten screws.
20. Connect hot and cold water and notice that the new fittings might be just a tad short.
21. Pretend that the new fittings aren't short.
22. Turn water on outside at the mains.
23. Check that water flows and doesn't leak.
24. Neaten up silicone.
25. Clean up tools and vacuum floor.

Job done. Well, a 30 minutes job done in two and a half hours actually. Grrr.