Thursday, June 30, 2005

Who Says That The US Isn't Doing A Good Job In Iraq?

I saw a report on SBS News last night about the state of the nation in Iraq. It said that up to 75% of homes didn't have a reliable source of clean water or electricity and homes were often going for up to 12 hours a day without electricity.

All this doesn't doesn't point to the Yanks doing a good job, or does it? Apparently more power is being generated now than before the war!! The reason that the power situation isn't satisfactory is that people have been buying TVs, computers and air conditioners on a large scale and this has been overloading the power grids.

Yes, the Yanks have managed to introduce the Iraqis to consumerism.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Long Term Memory Is Excellent

I sometimes wonder about my son. You ask him what he did at school today and he can't remember. Something shocked me the other night though.

Dr Who came on, it's the old series, but they had updated the intro. It used to be the TARDIS, Time And Relative Dimension In Space, going through some sort of tunnel with some white noise for sound. Now it's been updated to some stars and a little bit catchier music, mind you we are still talking about 1979-80 here.

As soon as Yu-Jin saw it he said, "Is this the four doctors?" meaning The Five Doctors - a movie that I stayed home to watch instead of going to the school dance. Get this, Yu-Jin saw this movie at the end of January or beginning of February. Not having seen it for about five months he recognised it straight away, the intro is the same, and almost got the name right.

He pulls memories out for things that happened six or 12 months ago and talks about them as though they happened yesterday. And then he gets upset if you can't follow what he is talking about straight away. Yesterday is a term that means any day before today - his concept of time needs a bit of work.

I'm just astounded by how well his long term memory works sometimes. Short term is shot to bits but the long term is impressive.
How Safe Is Your Super?

We are being bombarded with the need to provide for our own savings to tide us over in retirement. The Howard Government is offering incentives, such as putting 1.5 times as much again as your own contributions to superannuation of up to $1000, to encourage people to save for their retirement. Believe me, the pension won't be around when I am ready to retire and I better be able to afford to live off my own money.

So I toodled off to the bank yesterday to take some money out and mentioned that I was just going to put it somewhere else that wouldn't allow me to touch it until I retired. The lady bank teller knew what I meant and countered with, "How much money do you need anyway? It's a big scare campaign. By the time you are 75 you are too old to go travelling around the world."
I disagreed on that point but thought that once you reach 80 you may be downplaying the need to go on a world trip. Her opinion was that if you live to 75 and all of your money is gone then your kids can look after you until you die. I mentioned that I would only have one kid to do that and that I was paying for him now and that discouraged me from putting money into superannuation. She said that she had four kids and was still paying for them and that none of them would be looking after her when she was old.

Anyway, toodled off to the superannuation company to deposit the money. On the deposit slip for my wife there was a section whereby you could change the address. I asked if any ID was required to do this, as there didn't appear to be, and the lady said not and that I should just fill it in.

So, my question is, how safe is your super? You could put it in all of your life and then somebody could change the delivery address and then probably forge your signature to change the entitlements to benefit themselves, and there are very few, if any, checks in place. For something so important I would have expected a few more safeguards than that. Or perhaps they aren't worried about your money.
What Is It About Maltese Dogs?

Yesterday, I swear, that I saw three people in the passenger seat of their vehicles with a maltese terrier on their lap. I thought that the only Lap dogs were Alaskan Malamutes and Huskies, which may be the same breed. I don't know, I'm a bit ignorant.

Last night after having some chips by the river, following our tea, we went for a walk. Lo and behold what should I see but some fellow walkers and one of them was carrying his maltese terrier.

Excuse me, sir. That hairy lump under your arm is a dog. They get rather unhealthy if they don't exercise. It's not a bloody handbag. Let the poor thing go for a walk. What favour do you think that you are doing it by carrying it? Increase the risk of obesity and heart disease, have no natural wear-and-tear of its claws, etc.

Is the maltese terrier the new poodle?
Thoughts From The Young Fella

Just before we had to get up this morning, Yu-Jin decided that he wanted to sleep in our bed with us. He asked what time it was and I said it was three minutes before the alarm would go off to wake us up. There was no need to go back to sleep really.

Sure enough, three minutes later the radio comes on to signal that it is the start of the day. It opened halfway through a news story which went like this..

"Many bombers are well educated and wealthy"

To which Yu-Jin added, "Oh, they're talking about football."
He thought that they were discussing the Essendon Bombers and not suicide bombers as the case was, in actual fact. No matter what Nick thinks, the Essendon Bombers don't commit suicide attacks, even though they may be well educated and wealthy, as opposed to Carlton who are just wealthy.

Updated Ham character - this time I copied it from a book.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The New Wake Up Drink For Early Risers

Seeing as my missus has had a sore throat for about five weeks now she has been boiling some ginger in water and drinking it as tea. This morning before going to work she boiled some more ginger tea and had it. I decided to have some too as my throat is a bit dry in the morning due to a stuffy nose.

Blow me down!! There was no sugar or honey in it and it was pretty strong. A very woody taste. And it didn't get any better the more I drank. Finished it off though. As I went to wash the dishes I noticed the missus' cup with a bit left in it. I thought that I'd try it to see what flavour enhancers she had put in to make it drinkable. The short answer - none. It didn't taste any different.

It's a better wake up drink than coffee. Not that I drink coffee, mind you.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Not Like His Old Man

Gotta work on that young man. Last Wednesday was his class photo day and I gave him strict instructions to give his envelope with payment to the teacher. When it came to photo time he didn't think about the envelope.

The next day he was sick and came to work with me. I rang his teacher to find out why he hadn't done so, even wanting to know if she had asked the class about their envelopes. Yu-Jin said that Mrs Bennett hadn't done so but she indicated that that had happened, in actual fact. And then told me a few more home truths about Yu-Jin and the fact that he didn't listen or follow instructions very well.

When mum found out about this she was furious. His best toys have been taken away and he must sit at the front of the class from now on and listen if he is to get his toys back. It seemed to do the trick today. He sat at the front and listened. At least that is what he told us. We shall find out later in the week what the real story is.

I called the photo company to find out what the deal was as I had thought he only had a class photo taken and not an individual one. Not the case but there would be a late fee of $10. I told the woman on the other end of the phone that I would take it out of his hide and she said she was surprised that so many parents reacted the same way. After all, he is only five. My point being if he is only five and liable to forget then why should I be penalised a further 10 dollars. Can't say I was happy about the situation.

Yu-Jin's hide remains intact. There was no pocket money last week and it culminated in the aforementioned confiscation of his toys.

Stay tuned.
Why So Many Cars On The Road This Morning?

It seemed as though there were far more cars on the road this morning. And it's not as if there was, or was going to be, bad weather. It was a beautiful day with a temperature reaching 21.5 degrees C at 2:18 this afternoon.

I think it must have been "National Drive Your Car To Work Day" or a "Save An Oil Company - Drive Your Car" campaign.

Miky even noticed a larger amount of vehicular traffic on her thoroughfare to work this morn'.
Work Over The Weekend

First there was a load of sand.

Add a wheelbarrow.

And then go and fill in the holes in the backyard.

Of course Yu-Jin got very dirty with all of the sand. He just couldn’t help himself. And the cheeky little monkey buried my shovel as well. After a bit of sweat most of it is now filling the holes in the backyard. Now I need to level it successfully. I bought a truckload of sand, 3 metres anyway, as it wasn't worth the trouble of buying six trailerloads and having to borrow the trailer and drive back and forth to the shop. Only work to be done, and it was cheaper to have it delivered in bulk, was to cart it out the back. And to keep the young fella from getting absolutely covered in sand and not bringing it into the house.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

What Is It With Ford Falcon Drivers?

On Friday morning I saw a pink Ford Falcon filling up at the petrol station. It had a large sticker on the rear window saying "COZ I CAN" but the number plate was great - "YES PINK". And it had a bloke driving it. Would I rather drive a Holden than a pink Ford Falcon. Well, I wouldn't go that far.

On Saturday afternoon I was overtaken by a purple Ford Falcon XR8. It had the number plate "PEPL ETA". Took me a few seconds to remember the song you learn when you are a kid - "Purple People Eater". You know? "He had one eye, one horn, flying purple people eater." Sing along.

Yu-Jin was singing along to the Black Eyed Peas with "Don't funk with my heart" today. Where on earth he would have heard the song before I don't know but he does like music.

What's In A Name

Yu-Jin and I watched "Guinness World Records" tonight. They had Mr Yim, from Korea, who, being a 7th dan black belt in Hap Ki Do, put molten lead, at 900 F, or 487 C, into his mouth for 14 seconds without sustaining injury. He then spat it out onto a piece of board which it burnt through within a couple of seconds. Most impressive. He should change his name to Mr Yeeow.

Friday, June 24, 2005

More On The Korean Embassy Blighters

When my missus was registering my son's birth with the Korean Embassy, so that he can go to school in Korea, have a passport and join their army, the guy at the other end of the phone, when he got to the surname, Ham, said, "Are you sure you want me to write down Ham as the family name? It sounds like a Korean ham company that I know."

If he had been talking to me and I knew Korean for "Pull your head in idiot" I may well have used it. The kid's name is his name and there is no going past it. When I'm at work and spelling my email for someone I quite often add, "As in 'ham 'n eggs'", not that it is a particularly difficult name to spell.

Just give me the name of that bloke. I'll make some fun out of his surname. I am full of hatred like that, just waiting for an avenue.
A Few Of My Favourite World Records

As I have mentioned before I have read the Guinness Book of Records from cover to cover. I met the then editor, Peter Matthews, when I went to England and the Guinness Museum of World Records offered me a job to have any visitor ask me a world record and I would tell them the answer. Perhaps they didn’t like it when I pointed out 9 or 10 of their exhibits were out of date as the particular records they represented had been surpassed.

Tallest Person

Robert Pershing Wadlow. There is a person I look up to. He died when he was 272 cm, or 8’ 11.1”, and at the time of his death he was still growing. When he was 5 years old he measured 163 cm (5’ 4”) and he was 183 cm (6’) tall at age 8. He reached 218 cm (7’ 1 ¾”) by his 13th birthday.

It is very difficult to imagine an 8 year old of solid proportion who was taller than me. And when you take into consideration that only about 10 people have been accurately measured as having reached 8" the fact that he was that much taller is even more amazing.

Most Variable Stature

Adam Rainer was 118 cm (3’ 10 ½”) at age 21 but by the time he was 32 he measured 218 cm (7’ 1 ¾”) and we he died aged 51 he was 234 cm (7’ 8”). Incredible. The only person to have been both a dwarf and a giant.

Most Kids

The first wife of Feodor Vassilyev had 69 children, 67 of whom survived infancy. They included 16 sets of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets. And we are talking from the 1700s here. Why did he feel the need to get married again?

Standing Up

Swami Maujgiri Maharaj stood up for 17 years as a penance. At night he would sleep standing up against a plank.

I don’t see this record being broken any time soon. True committment. I wonder what he was doing penance for?

Pole Sitting

St Simeon the Younger, or Stylites, spent 45 years atop a stone pillar in Syria until 597 AD. This is the longest standing Guinness world record. Or should I say sitting?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

One Out, All Out

Miky's had a sore throat for about four weeks now. Yu-Jin picked up something recently and is really wheezey. Yesterday it hit me too. I have a sore throat and feel like dropping off to sleep during the day. I wonder if anyone at work would notice?

Yu-Jin will come to work with me this morning as I have some very important work to finish. A person from another company is coming to our office. I can get Yu-Jin to deliver faxes and printouts. I could even let him play online games while I am down the back (the warehouse). He would rather go to work with me than go to school. I wonder how long that situation will survive.
Was That A Compliment?

Our receptionist is a little difficult to get a friendly "Good morning" out of at the best of times. I don't know why it is.

Yesterday I had to go to the toilet but the men's toilet upstairs was occupied so I headed downstairs. Now, the downstairs toilets are more of a unisex setup with a urinal thrown in for good measure. I guess that anyone can use them. So I'm standing at the urinal, having a slash, when who should walk in but the receptionist. Even though she left straight away I felt good after her comment, "Oh my God".

Was she being complementary?

Nah. Just embarrassed.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

I thought that it looked nice. Only wish I had a pic of the city through the fog. Ran out of time in the morning on the way to work. Some guy broke down and even though he pulled off the freeway it caused major headaches to peak hour traffic. Made me some 10 minutes late for work but the boss didn't mind too much as he had heard about it on the radio. I'm normally 10 minutes early. Too much rubbernecking going on.

It's been a bit nippy the last couple of mornings. The fog has been all over the place and the temp has dropped to about 3 degrees C.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Let There Be Sound

Finally got some sound on my computer. I had to disable the onboard sound and install my old soundcard. Works quite nicely and I feel almost complete. Feeling much better anyway.

First music to crank up? Scorpions. They've put out some brilliant stuff over the years. Yu-Jin likes them too. He's a good boy.


How on earth does deodorant manage to maintain a temperature at least 10 degrees below room temperature? Applying it is one of the most masochistic things you can do in the early morning. Wakes you up better than a cup of tea does.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Time For The Cricket Heavyweights To Enter The Fray

Now that the likes of Bangladesh and England are giving the Aussies a hiding I think that it is time we played some more of the world heavyweights. Just when are we going to see the cricketing prowess of Iceland, Paraguay, El Salvador and Vanuatu? For too long these countries have been passed over for cricketing glory and it is time that they were brought in from the cold.

Australia needs to beat somebody soon.
Not Like His Old Man

Yu-Jin spent his own money on Saturday. He was determined to buy a Batman figurine and did it from his pocket money. We are talking about five weeks' worth so it should mean a fair deal to him. And I thought that he would go through life like his old man and not spend his own money.

When Is A Phonecard Not A Phonecard?

When you buy it from the newsagent and they just print you a receipt to use to make your phone calls. Blew me away when I didn't actually get a bit of plastic to use. Talk about a competitive industry and cost-cutting.
Australia Loses To Team From Domino's Pizzas

Yes, the Aussie cricket team has done it again. Here's the sad news. We can't even beat a team of drivers from Domino's Pizzas. They obviously had some pizzas waiting to be delivered as Kevin Pietersen went beserk with the bat and looked like he needed to be somewhere else. They do a good job of delivery as Steve Harmison is a testimony to. Just ask the Aussie batsmen about the delivery - it was better than they expected.

Look at Kevin Pietersen's delivery style - from

Oh, yes. Domino's were representing England. The uniforms are interchangeable.

I see that Paul Collingwood took an absolute blinder of a catch. Yet another reason to hate Collingwood.

England indeed.
Solanki was born in India.
Jones was born in Papua New Guinea (a powerhouse cricketing nation let it be known).
Pietersen was born in South Africa.
Andrew Strauss is another from South Africa.

The rest of them were apparently born in England. So, it's like playing a World XI when you play England. Only this is the first time they have played like they were a World XI.

Losing to Bangladesh was one thing but losing to England?! An utter disgrace. It should never be allowed to happen again.
An Old Sport Rediscovered

Apparently my uncle couldn't afford the trip to New York to take part in some East River Helicopter Diving. He's taken the frugal way out and tried some base jumping from a ladder. Hasn't done his shoulder any good nor his eyes. The shoulder needs to be pinned and he is sporting a couple of black eyes.

I'll have to give him a call in a few days.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Surprising Call From The Korean Embassy

There is a message on my answering machine and it was left by an employee of the Korean Embassy in Canberra. The first part of his message was in Korean so I don't know exactly what was said. Then, for some reason, he decided to add a message in English.

"Your son, or daughter, I'm not quite sure, has been added to our Birth Registry..."

I'm curious as to how they have registered my son exactly. I'd hate for him to go to school in Korea and then be enrolled in a girls' school. I suppose we had better check. What a thing for this guy to say, anyway. Miky said that he told her off when she didn't use respectful words to him and spoke informally when applying for his birth to be registered. At the time she couldn't remember the words to use.

We went to the Korean video shop nearby tonight and I told Yu-Jin that we were getting Korean videos and that he had to watch them as he was now a Korean. That upset him a little bit as he isn't interested in them too much. Just got to pick up a passport for him and his Army papers.

Son or daughter indeed.
If ZZ Top Had Been Australian..

..nobody would have heard of them. They would have used the English/Australian pronunciation of the letter and would have been called "Zed Zed Top". I just can't see that having caught on, myself.

Did spot a Ford Falcon with the number plate "ZZ TOP" on Friday. I have their Greatest Hits album. They put out some great stuff - even if all of the songs sound the same. Didn't do any damage to the popularity of AC/DC or the Beatles, did it?
Perth Is Full Of Idiot Drivers

Take Friday morning for instance. It's early, it's dark and it's raining. Some idiot in his maroon coloured V6 Commodore with the number plate "TURTLE 21" decided to race past me at the merging point of two lanes into one after an intersection. I was clearly in front, the road is slippery and it didn't seem to bother him one bit. As we approached the next set of lights, after he had sped away, he decided to change lanes without indicating. Well, the driver in front of him had the same idea and so they partook in some synchronised swerving. He decided to swerve from whence he came following that.

I've seen this idiot driving like this on several ocassions. Just a jerk. His accident can't come soon enough.
Tom Cruise Tries To Kick-Start His Career Again

Did anyone see the morbid images of Tom Cruise kissing his newest fiance, Kate Holmes, on the news? I like the way the media reports that it will be the first marriage for Holmes, almost as if they are expecting it to not be her last.

Did you see the loving embrace, whilst kissing, for the cameras in Marseilles? Talk about staged-managed. I didn't think that it was a loving embrace. It was more like a "You-say-anything-bad-about-the-Church-of-Scientology-and-I'll-break-your-neck" embrace. Did you see where his hand was? One twist and she would be a quadrapregic.

I think that the latest career for Tom Cruise will be Pro Wrestling, after viewing the grip that he had.
Newest Adventure Sport For The Non-Wussbag

Do you have a taste for high-adventure? Has bungee-jumping lost its appeal to you? Has skydiving become a bit ho-hum? Has canoning had its day and it is no more than sliding down a waterfall on your bum?

Why don’t you try the latest adventure sport for the go-getter?

East River Helicopter Diving

It’s all the rage – tourists and businessman alike are taking up this newest sport for the thrill seeker. There have been no recorded deaths, so far. The number of injuries has been limited also. Trained rescuers await your arrival at the crash site.

First flight was on Tuesday.

Photo from

Second flight was on Friday.

Photo from

Seats are filling fast! As fast as the helicopter takes on water once it has reached its destination. It’s never been easier to experience the thrill of a lifetime. Just purchase a one-way helicopter ride somewhere near the East River, make sure that your health and life insurance policies are paid up, and climb abound. The target area is quite large so you’re bound to make it. An experience like you’ll never forget. Book now to avoid disappointment.

Those crazy New Yorkers. Always so innovative. When is Perth going to get a tourist attraction like that?

Friday, June 17, 2005

I'm A Plane Crash Survivor

Startling headline, eh? We watched Lost last night and I was thinking, if people involved in a plane crash made it back to civilisation what would life be like and how would they be treated? Surely they would think of themselves a little differently. "I'm a bit of a celebrity because I survived a plane crash".

Yes, I've survived a plane crash. Remember that crash in Tenerife in 1977 where a Pan Am jumbo crashed into another plane on the runway and 582 people were killed? I survived it. The fact that I happened to be in Australia at the time greatly improved my chances of survival. In fact, I have survived more plane crashes than I care to remember.

Take a hint. Not being involved in the plane crash increases your chances of survival enormously.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

More on the Cricket

I hope Australia doesn't play an Under-12 Invitation XI from Wales in the cricket anytime soon. 'Coz they would probably lose.

As if losing to England wasn't humiliating enough they have now gone and lost to a County side. Crikey!!

At least they should be able to beat Bangladesh in the tri-nations tournament coming up. Whatever next?!
Turning the Tables in the Footy Tipping

You may remember that in Round 11 of the AFL tipping I managed to get a big, fat zero out of eight. Having reached the halfway point of the season, finding myself languishing in last place in the work tipping, out of 23 people mind you, I made the decision to go for last place and get my money back. The only other way I could get my money back would be to win the round on two occasions. Having not picked more than 5/8 for half the season we all know that that isn't going to happen.

Step forward one week to Round 12. I picked losers this week to consolidate my position at the bottom of the table. Amazingly three people picked 8/8 for the round. Now consider me. I picked 0/8 - trying to lose. Damn it!! I picked the eight winners, and using the winning margin on one particular game I was closest. That means that had I picked winners instead I would have won the round and only needed to win once more in the ensuing 10 weeks.

It's enough to drive you nuts. What a turnaround in tipping fortunes, eh? And it's all bad. Perhaps if I fall far enough behind with a couple of rounds to go and can't be caught I should try to win a couple of rounds and double my money.

Kevin Sheedy, the coach of the Essendon Football Club made mention during the week that those people who are at the top of the tipping competitions know nothing about football - It's been that sort of a season. Now, doesn't that make me feel a whole lot better about my mediocrity? Perhaps I'm not even at the level of mediocrity.
Number Plate of the Day

Saw this recently on some flash car:


Had to have a second look before I got the message.
Number One Idiot

Yeah, that's me. I came to the conclusion that the motherboard on my computer wasn't allowing my monitor to work properly. Bingo! Guess who didn't intall the drivers for the motherboard? Yeah, me again. I've never done that before so I didn't know that it had to be done.

All done now. The monitor works beautifully. Pity I don't have any sound. I have run through the troubleshooter a few times, reinstalled the drivers for the sound card, checked the settings endlessly and the Device Manager says that the sound card is working properly and that there are no conflicts. I can't even get system sounds to run!

I don't want to tear too much hair out, it's getting a bit precious.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Talk About Lazy People

I went into the bank at lunchtime as I had to put some money in the boy's bank account and get some change for parking. The woman in front of me had another bank's card and wanted to take money out of it. After being told that the other bank was on the corner, implying that she would have to pay a fee for not using her own bank, she couldn't be bothered and went ahead with the transaction. And when I talk about the corner I mean only two doors down!! That is what I call lazy.

I guess I could have transferred the money to the boy's account so I wasn't being lazy at all. Need to get out and about while there isn't too much rain about.
The Poor Are Gambling More

Yet another article claiming that the poor gamble the most. Doesn't everyone have a go at Lotto? Ok, they are talking about poker machines but I get sick of the headlines saying that the poor gamble more. I find that a little hard to swallow and it reminds me of a story about Kerry Packer, Australia's wealthiest man, who regularly bets $10m on a hand.

Many years ago he was took a seat at a poker table in the US. Not long afterwards a rather upset Texan came back to the table and said that it was his seat and exclaimed "Do you know who I am?"
"No" was Packer's reply.
The Texan went on to say who he was, that he was very wealthy from oil and cattle, and kept on big-noting himself.
Packer asked him what he was worth and the Texan, very proudly, stated "About US$70m all up."
Packer said to him, "I'll toss you for it."
The Texan turned his back and walked away, refusing to take the bet.

And they still have the nerve to say that the poor gamble more. Kerry Packer was ready to bet about A$100m on the toss of a coin. Show me some lower socio-economic types who can match that.
Never Go To Bed Angry

Some wise advice when I got married was never go to bed angry. You should always sort out a problem before hitting the sack.

I reckon that it just about applies to anything. Take for instance my new monitor. I cannot set the refresh rate for it through Windows and can't upgrade the driver. Talk about infuriating. And not a good thing to try and fix for 45 minutes before going to bed. All I can think about is that stinking, damn machine in the study.

Putting my fist through the screen may finish the argument but it certainly won't solve anything.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

In The News Today

Headline Story

Australia beaten in a game of cricket!!

Other Stories

Michael Jackson acquitted of all charges
Large Earthquake in China
Obesity, smoking accelerate aging

The biggest news story of the day is the fact that the Aussies lost in a game of cricket. And in worse news - it was to the Poms!!
Janet Jackson Tries To Steal The Limelight

I noticed this morning that Jacko had been acquitted on the Internet. Miky turned on the TV and it said that he was on his way to court and the verdict would be given live - so how did I know? That's the magic of a delayed telecast of a national program.

I see that Janet Jackson, once again, tried to steal the limelight. Her brother is involved in a high profile court case and she tries to make a spectacle of herself again. On the telly they showed Wacko Jacko's lawyers going through the metal detector without any problems. Janet goes through and sets the machine off. One security guy runs over her body with a hand-held metal detector and then they cut to another scene. I bet it was that damned metal nipple ring again and she just wanted to flash it on prime-time TV in front of a larger audience than the Super Bowl.

Honestly, some people will do anything for attention.

I just hope that Jacko didn't commit those crimes. And if he didn't, I feel sorry for him as his life is in ruins.
Wacko Jacko Isn't Coming To Australia....

Is he? I had heard that his plan was, if acquitted, to sell Neverland and come to Australia. Well, the almost unthinkable has happened - he has been acquitted of all charges, including supplying alcohol to a minor, child molestation etc.

Hell, we have enough paedophiles in this country already, convicted or not.

I really don't know with this "man". If the amount of money involved wasn't involved then witnesses may have been a bit more believable. Does anyone really know?

Sunday Amongst Ugly People

Had to pick up Miky from a different train station on Sunday as she didn't have enough change to get all the way home. Why can't we have some machines that change notes into coins in this country? There is a bus station adjacent to the train station and there was a girl waiting for the bus drinking beer and putting the bottle back into her pocket. Obviously thought that no-one would notice. Public drinking is not condoned. A couple of minutes later an African guy stands on the sidewalk and just starts to have a piss. Not in the bushes or anything - in full view. What is this place coming to?

On Sunday night, I, one too stingy to buy a dryer (don't have space anyway), had to mingle with those who can't afford to buy a dryer, at the laundromat. We had nearly a week of rain and it didn't stop for more than 10 or 15 minutes on Sunday. There were all sorts of people there - dreadies, women in black from top to thick black boots, skanky hoes - you name it. I can't remember going to the laundromat in the last four or five years. And the people that decided to have a cigarette did it just outside the door so that everyone inside could partake in passive smoking. I had to wait nearly half an hour for a dryer so it was lucky that I had brought my computer magazine to read. It did make me feel a little out of place and that people would have been staring at me.

Not the sort of public place I like to hang out.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Miky Has A Few Creations On Display

If you would like to have a gander at the latest fashion then pop over to "I Have Nothing To Wear". I've updated the site with a lot of new pics. Do yourself a favour and tell them that Hammy sent you.

Gotta stop writing crap like this.

Outdoor What? Speeling in thiz kuntree haz a long wae 2 gow.
And Now Here Is The News

Gee, I’ve been getting the hurry-up to post something on my blog - sorry to disappoint my fan(s) [Editor’s Note: Don’t get ahead of yourself lad!!]. I know how you feel. Out of the blogs that I read Nick Souter has taken a sabbatical and doesn’t post anymore and has even removed his blog, Loppy set up a blog but has never posted, Freaky Chick has been quiet lately, Kinki and Matt have bought a house and their output has been seriously downgraded when I would have thought that that would have given them plenty of mateial to write about. Perhaps they can't afford an Internet connection anymore.

My mum always has a bit to say but doesn't post all that often, Gleek has a nice little blog and she has "The Posting of the Year" in my book about a day where everything went wrong for her in NY. John Howard is very topical and funny but new material is posted only every month or so. Yobbo has some excellent material but seeing as he is off gallavanting around Asia for a while the postings have dropped off somewhat.

For some more racy stuff I read New York Moments, to catch up on what’s happening in Korea I read about Dave from Perth, but the funniest and best written blog has to be from Random Thoughts From NYC by Joe.

So, if I'm not posting as much as you would like there is some good material out there to put your peepers on. Sorry. I've been a bad, bad boy.

"..And On His Farm He Had A Cate, E.I.E.I.O"

Just about every movie we have watched lately seems to have Cate Blanchett in it.
Thank God He Met Lizzie.
The Gift
The Missing - great movie.

Obviously this girl can act as she isn't much to look at. Her movies are pretty good in actual fact.

Been A Bit Wet Down Under

Finally we've been getting some rain. We've had, I'll just check the Bureau of Meteorology's Website, some 135mm or five and a half inches of the stuff in June. And it just started to rain again.

Footy Tipper Extraordinaire

Last weekend I did the unthinkable in the footy tipping. I tipped zero out of eight winners. People at work thought that I was trying for last place because that is guaranteed to give you your money back. Nothing could be further from the truth - they were all dinkum tips. This week however I am trying to get another zero as that last place is well and truly mine.

New Computer

One of the reasons that I haven't posted too much lately is the fact that I have bought a new computer. It has 1 Gig of RAM, a 17" LCD Flat Screen with 8mS response, and a 200 Gig HDD. I feel a bit gipped as I can only get 132 GB out of the drive at the moment. I bought the parts and put it together myself, needed a bit of help with some of the internal cabling however, and it has taken a lot of my time to download updates fo the OS and all of the programs that I like to use.

I tried the monitor out at work to try to convince the boss to buy me one - it's sooooo much better than my CRT. Guess which idiot left the video and power cables for the monitor on his desk at work when packing the equipment away on Friday evening to take it home for the weekend? Moi. I don't even have a key to get in at work otherwise I would pick them up today as I have to go to the Subiaco Markets today with the Missus and it is only two minutes away.

I have had to connect my old montitor to set up the new computer. It runs much faster than my old PIII 500, let me give you the tip. And it wasn't all that long ago that I went through the same motions when my primary HDD crashed with my OS on it.

A Quick Say On Michael Jackson

Whatever the outcome of the trial into kiddie-fiddling, I'm sure that MJ would be wishing that he'd kept his relationships limited to Bubbles. No doubt there will be plenty of appeals to follow so it isn't over by any stretch of the imagination. And what of the rumour that he has sold Neverland to come and live in Australia? We aren't too keen to allow people even visit Australia if they have a criminal record.

Fairness In US Civil Cases

What happened to the old measurement of fainess - an eye-for-an-eye or that more recent saying - a-telephone-bounced-off-the-wall-into-the-side-of-the-face-for-a-telephone-bounced-off-the-wall-into-the-side-of-the-face? Regardless of who the person is who commits a crime, the punishment, or punitive damages, should be the same. I can't believe that the civil claim of Nestor Estrada against Russell Crowe is worth more than $500. It certainly isn't worth the purported US$2m they will be seeking.

I believe that everyone should be treated equally before the law.

Friday, June 10, 2005

What the hell are they teaching our kids?

Read very carefully and tell me what you think of the perserverance of the Shelley Primary School Newsletter publisher.
Russell Crowe Admits He Has A Problem

Russell Crowe admitted that he has a temper problem. Rubbish! His temper works just fine. In fact, few people have a temper that works so closely as to how it was designed.

Russell's problem is more about anger management.

I saw on the news last night the cut on the face that Nestor Estrada is claiming is worth US$2 in compensation. What a load of hogswash. It's a tiny cut on the face, nothing more. Crikey!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


A good fnerid of mnie, Ben, was irenspid by a rneect eiaml taht I snet, tknhas Grooks, wcihh had the wdros mexid-up. The fsrit and lsat leretts of the wrod raimen in the smae pacle but all of the oerhts get mdedlud. Deson't do mcuh for trehe lteter wrdos but it is siltl qitue raldbaee. Oosiluvby the bairn can ftocinun wtih qitue a dael of deilxsya and siltl ceernphmod waht is wteitrn. So I tuhoght taht I wulod witre a psot uinsg sflufhe.exe and see waht tnerud out. Hree geos nhntiog.

Uuetlnarnftoy the pgaorrm olny wrkos on the .Net Feomrwark, wichh wkerod fnie at wrok but not on my hmoe cueptmor. I'm jsut weidnrnog waht the drnecfefie is and why it wkerod in one pacle and not at the ohetr.

Stmeeimos I try to tpye too qclikuy and I don't rurqiee a pgaorrm to sflufhe my wrdos for me. I diecded to put the rael txet at the end of the ptnsiog in csae smoe of you wree ublane to raed waht I had ptesod.

A good friend of mine, Ben, was inspired by a recent email that I sent, thanks Grooks, which had the words mixed-up. The first and last letters of the word remain in the same place but all of the others get muddled. Doesn't do much for three letter words but it is still quite readable. Obviously the brain can function with quite a deal of dyslexia and still comprehend what is written. So I thought that I would write a post using shuffle.exe and see what turned out. Here goes nothing.

Unfortunately the program only works on the .Net Framework, which worked fine at work but not on my home computer. I'm just wondering what the difference is and why it worked in one place and not at the other.

Sometimes I try to type too quickly and I don't require a program to shuffle my words for me. I decided to put the real text at the end of the posting in case some of you were unable to read what I had posted.
Russell Crowe - You Idiot

Q. What do you call a New Zealander who comes to Australia and becomes successful, wealthy and famous?
A. An Aussie.

Q. What do you call an Aussie, originally from NZ, who came to Australia and became successful, wealthy and famous, and then assaults a hotel staff member with a telephone?
A. A bloody Kiwi.

It is amazing how quickly the Australian media appear to have turned their backs on Russell Crowe. He was once a darling Aussie held in high regard. "Our Russell" was a much-used term. Now he is referred to as a Kiwi. Interestingly, Russell has never avowed himself to be an Aussie and isn't categorical about his nationality. I wonder if he has taken out Australian citizenship or just has residency in Australia.

Not that nationality means anything when you become a hot-head for not being able to call your wife in Australia from a New York hotel, bring your phone downstairs, argue with a staff member and then, turning the phone into a fourth degree weapon (he has been charged with fourth degree possession of a weapon) when throwing the telephone against the wall and somehow badly injuring the face of the hotel employee.

Did he throw it at the employee or did it bounce off the wall? Apparently there is some video footage that may hold the key. I guess that we will see the video soon enough.

Perhaps the best bit of drama I have seen on telly in a long time was Crowe being marched in and out of the police station with his aviator sunglasses and jacket and remaining tight-lipped. Nice to see that although the incident took place at 4:20 am Crowe was still given time to make his hair look nice. Romper Stomper was his best piece of work.

Is assault as bad as kiddie fiddling? I await MJ's verdict too. Don't know if he did it or not. Some of the evidence seems pretty damning though.

Friday, June 03, 2005

I'm In Love

Although it isn't unconditional. Early stages yet.

Yesterday I received my new I-Rocks FM Transmitter, from, in the mail. You plug it into your cigarette lighter and tune the FM radio in your car to the correct frequency. Then plug in your USB memory stick, I-Pod, CD player or MP3 player, and enjoy the music. At lunch time I had to try it out and it works quite well.

It's really disappointing to find the best price, purchase the item, and then when searching for a Webpage to link to show you all that a cheaper one pops up. I did notice a couple of pauses whilst it was playing but I'll try it out for a bit longer before I get upset about that.

Gee it was nice to have Linkin Park blaring from my speakers whilst driving home last night. The trip went by really quickly for a change.


After fiddling around a bit with the FM Transmitter this morning I found out that by setting the station to a channel other than the default FM band the sound reproduction was perfect.

Love has become unconditional.
Falsh Killer Whales Beach Themselves Near Perth

About 125 False Killer Whales beached themselves at Geographe Bay near Bussleton, south of Perth, yesterday. Some 1500 volunteers braved the cold waters all day to rescue them. Amazingly only one whale died.

It was reported that it isn't known why whales beach themselves. Well, it seems that Japanese scientists would be happy to lend some assistance here. They wish to kill whales for "scientific purposes" and would dearly love to get there hands on the carcass.

I have a theory. Perhaps the whales just wanted to become sashimi in Japanese dishes. After all, that's where the whales used in Japanese "scientific purposes" end up anyway. We all know that.
Gary Ablett Achieves Recognition At Last

Perhaps the greatest player to grace an Australian Rules Football field, Gary Ablett Snr, has been inducted into the Football Hall of Fame.

Three times he kicked 10 or more goals in a game in one season, in a losing team. That had to be 1993. The only game of AFL that I have seen at the MCG was on a day in 1993. Geelong were playing my team Essendon. With Ablett in Geelong's side you couldn't be sure about winning. I had a seat in the new Great Southern Stand among 44000 others.

Ablett kicked 7 goals and 6 behinds by half-time. By the end of the game he had kicked 14 goals and 7 behinds in an absolutely awesome display. It didn't matter if Essendon played three or four players on Ablett, he would still mark the ball and then kick the goal. Astoundingly we still won the match by 24 points with Paul Salmon kicking 10.6.

I will never forget watching that man play. It was absolutely incredible and I've never seen anyone else with his ability play the game. It is so unfortunate that he was involved with drugs and a young girl who died from a drug overdose in his company. That has held up his induction into the Hall of Fame. But I'm glad to see him there now.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Kylie Minogue Guest Appearance On The West Wing?

The story I heard this morning was that whilst Kylie Minogue was in a private hospital in Melbourne she had an eight beds in a wing of 18 beds booked out to herself and her entourage. Apparently staff, patients and visitors didn't appreciate the disturbance that was caused and the activity of her bodyguards either.

I'm glad to see that she went for private treatment and didn't do it with Medicare funding. Kylie probably doesn't qualify as an Australian resident anymore. Hang on, Australia has a reciprocal arrangement with the UK for Medicare-type treatment. There does exist the possibility that the Australian taxpayer footed some of the bill. I hope that it's not the case.

If the cancer returns I guess she can do a re-release entitled "I just can't get you out of my breast".

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Miss Universe 2005

I watched the second half of the Miss Universe 2005 Pageant last night. I don't think anybody could seriously state that it is a beauty contest anymore - and the proof comes from the fact that Miss USA made the top ten.

Miss USA - looks like Maria Shriver, has a build like a bodybuilder, couldn't walk on the catwalk to save herself and she was only 5' 7". Maybe I'm being a bit too critical but I don't think that she would be offered a modelling contract.

Interesting that the final was held in Thailand. Interesting that the hosts spoke so quickly that I had trouble understanding everything they said and with the audience seemingly full of Thais I doubt that they knew what was being said.

Miss Israel - just goes to show that you don't need an M16 to look attractive.
Miss Puerto Rico - looks like a better version of The Nanny.
Miss Peru - had a face like Celine Dion. No wonder she didn't make the top five.
Miss Latvia - stood out as they she was Barbie. So cute.

There should be a couple more prizes awarded. We all saw Miss Congeniality and Miss Photogenic but what about Miss Winner-of-the-most-rigged-award? That would be in place of Best National Dress. With this award being judged by local dignitaries it is little wonder that Miss Thailand won.

Miss Latvia should have won an award for Most Unbelievable Makeup. She looked like a living Barbie doll but more like Bride of Frankenstein without it. Crikey. I guess in the dark it wouldn't make any difference. She was one of those contestants whisked away when she didn't make the next round following the top 15.

A special mention and tribute was paid to the Asian Tsunami victims where "more than 100000 lost their lives". (A much closer death toll) The actual figure is much closer to the 300000 mark.

Carson Kressley of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy fame was a weird choice for a judge, don't you think? Or perhaps he was te most unaffected by beauty and really was able to judge based on personality. I don't know.

Miss Puerto Rico required a translator for "The Question". That's a disgrace. Puerto Rico is a US territory and Spanish and English are the official languages.

Miss Canada was asked "The Question" twice and before answering was told, "You're representing North America here". Talk about a comment that was uncalled for. I thought she was Miss Canada and not Miss North America. She also provided the most cliched answer - "I always look at the glass as half full and not half empty." Spare me.

Miss Venezuela was stumped by "The Question" - something about what is wrong with your country and how you would change it. She bumbled about some political problems and couldn't get much out that made sense. Poor girl. I wouldn't be expecting a Presidential welcome upon returning home either. She dug a hole for herself and just kept on digging.

Miss Mexico - she was my choice. The fact that she came fourth was a surprise. It certainly wasn't a beauty contest.

Jennifer Hawkins, Miss Universe 2004, was better looking than all of them. And not just because I'm an Aussie.

Wasn't a bad show except it was run at a fast pace with the two hosts taking part in some deprecating humour that very few of the audience would have understood. It was just for show on cable.
Miss Universe 2005 - It's Not A Counting Contest Either

Just having a squiz at the Miss Universe Webpage and they mention the winner, first runner up, second runner up and the rest of the top five - a further three names. I don't know how they managed to squeeze six into the top five but they have done so. Sorry Miss Peru, but you didn't make the top five. Perhaps the girls had been on very strict diets and six would go into five. Or perhaps it is another way of not upsetting people and making them feel good about themselves. Everywhere else in the world the placings are 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th. American contests have the winner, first runner-up, second runner-up, third runner-up etc. We are in danger of our children not understanding ordinal numbers. Everything is being cardinalised. I blame the Catholic Church.