Friday, March 18, 2005

I'm Off Squash For A While

Went to see the physio last night and I am glad that I did. My leg was really swollen and had some bad bruising. I guess that is what happens when you spend two days working hard after you have torn a muscle. Me idiot.

The physio said that there would be no squash for six weeks. And some words of wisdom:

"You get fit to play squash, not play squash to get fit"

How very true. Especially when you are an old bugger like me getting back into the sport. I have to wear a compression bandage for a while and that does add a bit of support. He even asked me if I needed a note for my wife so that I didn't have to do the paving this weekend. I thought that that would be a good laugh but he wouldn't write one for me.

The physio actually said that he was surprised that I was walking about.

St Patrick's Day

Yesterday was a day that I was dreading. Six people from the office were going to be doing a training course and there were only two of us left for sales. A frightening amount of work was going to be piled upon us. I expected to not get any work done and spend all of my time answering the phone.

As it turned out every man and his dog must have been pretending they were Irish and took the day off work and went to the pub. The phones didn't ring very much. I got all of my quotes done and then had time to tidy up a lot of loose ends. It was a very productive, and somewhat boring, day. It was almost like a day off.

Psychics Get Rated

I think it is high time that the psychics of this world were rated according to their abilities to predict future events. When Miky and I got engaged her family said that they would see a psychic. Expecting them to ring back in about an hour's time we had to wait until the next day. They saw six psychics - three said that we would be good together and three said that we wouldn't. Koreans take their psychics quite seriously. That is why we need a rating system. Stop calling them all "mediums".

Medium - gets it right half of the time
Exceptional - gets it right almost all of the time
Perfectionist - gets it right all of the time
Poorly - lying sack of s#$t who guesses and has no idea
Underperformer - gets it right some of the time

Phone Repairer

My cordless phone handset jiggered up a few nights ago. Quite often when I went to make a call I would have to replace it in the base three times before it would receive a signal and allow me to make a call. So, in a last ditch effort, I pulled the handset apart and cleaned the aerial contacts. After putting it back in the base it worked fine! No more calls having to be conducted over speaker phone.

I'm not about to enter the world of phone repairs after that fluke though.

Brain Malfunction

Do you have one of these people in your family? They turn the light switch on, the light doesn't work, and they leave the light switch on. We do. Her name is *Geraldine*.

* Name changed to protect the guilty party.


Hammysmum said...

I realy don't want to say,'I told you so', but I did wonder if you were going at the squash at the wrong level for some one who had not played for some time! I had heard long ago, that you get fit to play squash, not the other way round. Hope the leg heals soon.

Nick Souter said...

Give it up loser! Give it up! What are you doing making a comeback to squash!! Is this some kind of long-term plot to eventually win back the champion and champions trophy?! It'll never happen! NEVER! The Trophy is mine!! (although if you do want a re-match, bring it on!)

Hammy said...

Give it up? You must be joking and don't know the nature of the beast! Once I am fit I will be kicking arse - in the next season as I won't do any good in this one.

By rights the Champion of Champions trophy is mine. It is high time you inscribed our fourth match with your pathetic "retired hurt", even though it was my racket that smashed your head open, as you effectively lost the match. I am the rightful owner.