Saturday, July 28, 2007

Frugal Bastard's Tips To Combat Obesity

- Print emails more often to a printer that is far away from your desk and so you have to walk to retrieve them. Bugger the trees. They don't care if you're fat.
- Look out the window more often at work. Ensure that your office doesn't have a window so that you have to get off your fat arse to do so.
- Replace your knee joints with lighter, plastic joints. And while you're at it why not get those heavy elbow joints done as well. If you are a politician you could have your spine removed completely. No-one would notice and you'll be considerably lighter.
- Leave your keys in your unlocked vehicle. This will encourage you to walk to work once your car has been stolen.
- Have a poo 30 minutes before it's ready to come out, not when the turtle is poking its head. The extra effort required will certainly burn calories.
- Learn and copy the behaviour of anorexics.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Some tips get worms or parasites. Drink drano. These are a joke of course. Have sex all day long!! Vomit all day!! Take cocaine and you won't feel your stomach anymore!! Don't hang out with the L's as they do something close to nothing!! Eat bunny food. Go to hell and all of your fat will burn off. Punch your boss in the face so, once you have no job you will starve. Become gay ha ha Terrible but, funny jokes. Annette