Goldilocks and the Three Bears - a Tale of Juvenile Delinquency

Yu-Jin wanted to discuss Goldilocks and the Three Bears while we had a shower last night.

We all know the story. Mummy Bear makes some porridge. It is too hot so the bears go for a walk in the forest.

Goldilocks enters the Bear house and tries the porridge. Daddy Bear's porridge is too hot, Mummy Bear's porridge is too cold but Baby Bear's porridge is just right, so she eats it all up.

Then Goldilocks goes into the lounge and tries the chairs. Daddy Bear's chair is too hard, Mummy Bear's chair is too soft, and Baby Bear's chair feels great, but Goldilocks is too big and so breaks the chair.

By this time Goldilocks is tired and so heads up the stairs to the bedrooms. Daddy Bear's bed is too hard, Mummy Bear's bed is too soft but Baby Bear's bed is just right and so Goldilocks goes to sleep in it.

Now, the Bear family arrives home.
Daddy Bear exclaims that, "Somebody has been eating my porridge."
Mummy Bear says that, "Somebody has been eating my porridge."
And Baby Bear says that, "Somebody has been eating my porridge. And it's all gone!"

Into the lounge room they go.
Daddy Bear exclaims that, "Somebody has been sitting in my chair."
Mummy Bear says that, "Somebody has been sitting in my chair."
And Baby Bear says that, "Somebody has been sitting in my chair. And it's all broken!"

Up the stairs they head.
Daddy Bear exclaims that, "Somebody has been sleeping in my bed."
Mummy Bear says that, "Somebody has been sleeping in my bed."
Baby Bear says that, "Somebody has been sleeping in my bed. And she's still there!"

Goldilocks wakes up at that moment and flees the scene.

Here's where I thought about the modern day ramifications of this story. The police would be called by the bears. Following an investigation, charges would need to be laid against Goldilocks.

Firstly - break and entering. Although this charge probably wouldn't stick as the door had been left open and I don't believe that there is a charge for entering.
Secondly - destruction of private property. That chair needs to be paid for by somebody.
Thirdly - stealing. That porridge didn't belong to Goldilocks and she had no business in consuming it. If Goldilocks had committed this crime in England in the late 1700s or early 1800s then she would have been transported to Australia for a period of seven years. No parole either.

There would be some conjecture about the jurisdication that Goldilocks could be tried in - a Bear Court or a Court of Law. Was Goldilocks a juvenile who wasn't old enough to be held responsible for her crimes?

Questions need to be asked.

What was Goldilocks doing away from home that early in the morning?
Were her parents taking responsibility for her?
Were her parents together or was Goldilocks a child from a broken home?
Was the government funding Goldilocks to live on the street?
Was she a runaway?

Why were Daddy and Mummy Bear sleeping in separate beds?
What was going on between them?
Domestic problems in the Bear household perhaps?
They don't sound entirely innocent here.

Much of this sadness could have been avoided if the Bears had locked their door and not been so trusting and naive. If they had installed a burglar alarm then this unfortunate incident may not have happened.

Whatever the investigation reveals, Goldilocks was going to require a good lawyer.