Code Speak

"We apologise for the delay. Our customer service department is experiencing a high number of calls at the moment. If you please continue to hold we'll be with you shortly."

Decoded - We are bloody busy.
- We need to get some coffee.
- There aren't enough people employed to answer the phones.
- We don't believe in customer service.
- The call from the boyfriend is more important than yours.
- Our product is crap and so lots of people are calling to complain about it.

- We have to say sorry. The boss said so. Answering the phones to listen to your problems doesn't rate with us. If you can be bothered waiting we'll talk to you at some stage.

It's always the same message. I'm thinking of putting it on my answering machine.