Please Consider The Environment Before You Print This Message Blah Blah

I hate receiving emails that prompt me to
"Please consider the environment before you print this message".

As if signatures aren't long enough - I know mine fills up close to half a page. Bloody greenies in disguise. Tree-huggers. I hate them. Their annoying guilt-laden and guilt-inducing messages irk me. Go and get a job!

Your long-winded signatures push the email, which probably have to be printed for record-keeping purposes anyway, to three or four pages in length. Totally unnecessarily, I might add. Quite detrimental to the environment in fact.

Not only do I use more paper, unless using doubled-sided printing (which in itself can be a luxury), but more ozone is produced by the printer/photocopier (at least when photocopying), more electricity is used, more toner is launched into the atmosphere causing long-term respiratory problems and an unsafe workplace, a larger queue of people waiting for their printouts appears making the workforce inefficient causing delays to projects that have national significance and thereby affecting the country's economy in an adverse way. Don't forget that although trees don't grow on trees, they grow next to trees, they are a renewable resource. It's not as if Amazonian rainforest is being used for my A4 page, is it? And think about the poor forestry workers that you will be depriving of employment. What does that do for their plight? It only worsens it.

Think twice before telling me to consider the environment. But please, if you consider printing this post then seek medical attention. There is obviously something wrong with you. Much worse than if you just considered reading this post and throwing it away with all the other fiddle-faddle you come across.