My Wife The Intellectual Property Thief

I don't appreciate Intellectual Property (IP) thieves. And my wife is one of them. She tries to lay claim to so many things that are my doing and mine alone.

Take for instance the kimchi hamburger. My wife showed me how to make a burger patty which stuck together very well. But it was ME who put the kimchi in it. Voila - the kimchi hamburger. A Frugal Bastard invention some 10 years ago people. And who says that she invented it?

Then there is the case of who decided to have a flatmate in the flat that we lived in previously. My wife found the flat and I thought that it would be good to share with a Japanese student as we would otherwise have struggled to pay the bills. And who swears black and blue that it was her idea?

Now she's even trying to turn our son against me. When he was less than two years old he was quite sick. We took him to the doctor's surgery and next door was a chemist. The chemist sold toy monkeys for about $4.95. I thought it would be a great idea to cheer him up to buy a monkey as well as his medicine. And it worked. And he still loves that monkey which, surprisingly, has held up very well over the ensuing years. And who is trying to poison her son's mind by telling him that she bought it?

If I see my wife on Australia's Most Wanted any day now I won't be the least bit surprised.