The Three Little Pigs - A Story About Why Regulation Is Required In The Building Industry

In the same vein as my revelation of the truth about Goldilocks and the Three Bears, I have decided to reveal the truth about the three little pigs. Everybody knows the story about the three little pigs. It goes a little something like this.

The three little pigs decide to leave home and mummy pig wishes them well. They build their own houses to live in. The first little pig builds his house from straw, the second from sticks, and the third from bricks.

Along comes the big bad wolf who is hungry. He approaches the first little pig's house of straw and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me in."
"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin," replies the frightened first little pig.
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blown your house down," said the big bad wolf.
So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house of straw down. The first little pig ran to his brother's house.

The big bad wolf approached the second little pig's house of sticks and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me in."
"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin," replies the frightened second little pig.
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blown your house down," said the big bad wolf.
So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house of sticks down. The first and second little pigs ran to their brother's house.

The big bad wolf approached the third little pig's house of bricks and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me in."
"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin," replied the third little pig. He wasn't frightened.
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blown your house down," said the big bad wolf.
So he huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and he puffed, but he couldn't blow down the house of bricks. So the three little pigs were safe.

Here's the real story.

The three little pigs were just juvenile delinquents. Hair on my chinny chin chin? Just a bit of bum fluff. Rowdy teenagers rebelling against society. There's no mention of their father so obviously they were living with their mother who was unable to control them. That's what happens when you don't have a proper father figure. Single mothers are just crying out for help in the pig society.

This is really a story about shonky builders and renovators, the three little pigs, and a building inspector just doing his job, the big bad wolf. Look at it this way - who ever heard of straw and sticks being used as building materials? Get real, the first two little pigs obviously never read the Building Code. I don't believe that they were ever members of the Master Builders Association. They were just backyard operators out for a quick buck.

What about the poor maligned building inspector? He was going around doing his job of inspecting buildings, making sure that the public was kept safe from shonky builders and dwellings that were unfit for habitation. The little pigs had a propaganda machine in the order of George W. Bush's to make the building inspector out to be the baddy. Just because he looked a little different to all of the other characters in the story. That's discrimination in its worst sense. Would you seriously live in a house made of straw or sticks? Not bloody likely. More power to the building inspector.

Only one of the little pigs had the necessary skills to call himself a builder, or anything close to resembling a tradesman. And just to show that their is no justice in the world his two useless little brothers come running to him for protection for their illegal acts and prosecution. You make a name for yourself by working hard and everyone wants to suck you dry. Isn't it always the way?