Happy Birthday To Me

I've turned 34. Time to get on with life.

Went a bit cheap on the candles for the cake.

Golf was interesting yesterday. Played with Shayne, Mark and Kirin - a Canadian. I mentioned that John Wilson posted he was going to play golf on the weekend in Canada and it was going to set him back C$49, which was about half price, and he considered that to be cheap. Kirin, whose name had nothing to do with being conceived in a Japanese brewery, said that he had been a member of his club back home, about two hours drive north of Toronto, since he was five. And it wasn't unusual to pay C$200 for a game and $25 was unheard of, even on the worst courses. Mark had just become a member of Royal Perth. Only the most exclusive club in Perth. And probably the most expensive too.

I didn't even reach the ladies' tee off the first. Knocked the second shot onto the fairway, third into the trees and my fourth from about 110m was sitting in pine needles and I had a very small gap between some big trees to get through. Managed to get it out quite well.

Mark hit his drive 280m straight down the middle. Ominous start. Kirin got out of tree trouble very well. Shayne hit a lovely drive and a nice second shot. I had a dig at Mark and Kirin asking them if they, "Had not made the cut at The Masters and so had come to join us" as there was one ball only one foot from the hole and another about eight feet away. I received a bit of a shock to find my ball was the one only a foot from the hole. Mark missed his putt for birdie.

I started bogey, bogey and Mark started missed birdie, missed birdie. It was quite special watching Mark drive off the tee. By hell he can hit a ball. On the par-4 9th, which was playing about 25m shorter than its 342m, Mark drove the green. Unbelievable. His 15m putt ended only a couple of feet away and he birdied the hole. Bit hard to believe that his handicap was 12.

Kirin seemed to know his game well but was struggling. I did ask him what he normally played off (handicap) back home and his reply was, "I'm not playing well today." He managed to hit or go into the trees on every hole and really wasn't having a good day. That was evidenced by the fact his handicap is four and he shot a 51 - with only 14 putts. No wonder he called it quits after nine to go and play poker at the Casino. Mark quit after nine holes as well.

I was thinking during my round that if the French had invented golf it would be two sets of 10 holes. Just to extend the misery or to keep the decimal system going.

Shayne and I probably relaxed a bit more on the back nine but both started off with a nine. Shayne followed that up with a 10 after taking three shots to get out of a bunker in front of the green. Kirin had given me two Callaway balls that he didn't want. I played a couple of provisional shots with my ball, I gave one to Shayne, and they were wayward to nowhere-near-on-target. Shayne didn't have much more luck either. Perhaps it was poor golf from the two of us but there's no way I'll be buying a Callaway golf ball. Even if Phil Mickelson did win at Augusta with one.

On the 13th Shayne realised that I hadn't had a par up until that stage. I rectified that situation on that very hole. When we walked to the 17th tee he realised that he hadn't had a par yet. And he scored his par on that hole. I said, "And you'll score a 12 on the last but won't give a bugger as you have your par."

Guess what he scored on the 18th - yep, a 12. I shot a 10 though after four-putting on the last. Apart from the 10, two nines and an eight I thought that I played quite well. I would have been happy with that score and playing reasonably on the really bad holes.

Collier Park Scorecard April 9th 2006.