Friday, December 03, 2010

Cricket Masterchef - New Program

You've seen Masterchef Australia. You've watched, but not necessarily understood, Iron Chef. You've been amazed by Junior Masterchef Australia. Now prepare for the latest culinary and gastronomic tv series - Cricket Masterchef.

Cricket Masterchef stars the Australian Test Cricket team but you'd have to say that the variety of dishes is sadly lacking. There's very little spice and not much zest included in the ingredients. Let's have a look at some of the dishes forthcoming from the second Ashes test match being held in Adelaide.

Simon Katich - he's prepared a duck, the platinum (or diamond) version after being out without facing a ball.
Ricky Ponting - he's also prepared a duck, a golden duck, after departing first ball.
Michael Clarke - his speciality is goose, of which he's made himself out to be, after only making two runs. It could be said that his preparation was unassisted and that he has cooked his own goose.
Ryan Harris - another golden duck. So litte imagination in the kitchen these Aussies.
Doug Bollinger - he's a bunny.

I'd like to have seen a batsmen score zero and play at his best. That would be a Peking (peaking) duck. You'd have to say that it was a pressure cooker situation for the Australians in the middle at the Adelaide Oval today. And didn't they get a basting from the Poms? Mind you, the Poms aren't very imaginative when it comes to cooking either. They just had the Aussies on toast.

The Australians didn't get to enjoy their dishes today and the only cooking that they've tasted for a while is humble pie. Well Ricky, revenge is a dish best served cold and we can see that the Aussies are not cooking with gas. With the Aussies' cooking skills it will probably end up as Ashes anyway.


Susan Ham said...

Very clever. All the poultry running amok, have any of them 'laid an egg?'

Hammy said...

It was a pretty poultry (sic) return from the batsmen.

Anonymous said...

ha ha Gil