Funerals - What A Strange Thing

My Grandma's funeral was the first that I can remember attending. Now I probably attended the funeral of my Grandpa's cousin and that of my Grandpa, where, mum reminded me recently, I uttered the words, "I done poo!" quite loudly in front of the mourners. But that's another story.

It was a cold day on Monday when friends, family and parishioners came to farewell Grandma. The priest started the ceremony with the words, "When I first met Kate, she was angry. And she had a right to be." That lightened the mood somewhat. It was very church-like in nature, unsurprising given her faith, but the ceremony lacked something. Whether it was more of a showcase of her life but I'm not sure. I'm not au fait with the goings on at funerals. The eulogy was delivered with aplomb but my camera stopped filming thirty seconds before the conclusion. Damn. I wish the eulogy has gone for at least thirty minutes however as there was so much that we could have been told about.

Come time to take my place as a pall bearer and you'd get the feeling that the lady funeral director had never done this before as they, her and her assistant, kept spinning the coffin this way and that unsure in which direction to point it. I thought that we would lift the coffin to our shoulders and walk out but it was carried at arms length. I didn't know what to feel, really, as I knew that it wasn't quite goodbye as the burial would be held the next day. After placing the coffin in the hearse we retired to the hall for morning tea and a wake.



Following the wake we were about to leave, after making a decision where to meet for lunch, when a parking inspector chatted us about a complaint having been made about somebody parking illegally. He asked if we had been involved in the funeral, what time it had finished and what we did afterwards. It was policy not to charge people for parking too long if they were attending a funeral. That's not to say that he was targeting us but he just wanted our story.

Next day, some three hours drive away, we buried my Grandma. I was to be a pall bearer again but this time I had to lower the coffin into the grave. No new-fangled coffin-lowering gizmos in the country. The ceremony was very short, which was welcome due to the fact that seven degrees C is not the type of weather to be hanging around in a summer suit in, but that surprised me somewhat. The funeral director's hired help on this day had to be told what to do when he was doing it and it was painfully obviously what had to be done as well.

What do you think when lowering a coffin into a grave? You think, "Hurry up Dad and catch up otherwise you might tip it over." That's what. We had lunch at the pub afterwards and then returned to take a photo of the grave once it had been filled in. That image was quite a shock. Just seeing a newly filled in hole with flowers atop and comparing it to what I had witnessed earlier was a little confronting.

I'm very glad that I was able to say goodbye, in my own way. And I'm glad that nobody told me what to expect. I wouldn't have believed anyone if they told me a week earlier exactly what I would find myself doing.

Chance To Farewell Grandma

Tomorrow I fly to Adelaide for my Grandma's funeral which will be held on Monday. I'm not morbid or anything, well maybe a tad, but it is a chance to pay my respects to a lady I have great admiration and love for and I'm very much looking forward to it.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been to a funeral before. I was going to my great uncle Wally's funeral when I was about eight years old but they wouldn't let us kids into the church and we had to wait in the car with another relative. Gee, I'm getting a bit old for firsts.

There should be a great many people at the church on Monday that I know and a lot more that I don't know. My Grandma knew a lot of people. And she was loved by a lot too. The plan is for the three grandsons (only three?), one son and two son-in-laws to be pall bearers. I was surprised that even though I have a huge number of relatives that there were only three grandsons.

I'd better remember to pack a handkerchief to wipe away the tears. I'll try my best to hold mine back but with so many women in the family it is bound to be gushing. And I don't blame - my Grandma was a wonderful person. Hopefully the weather holds out and everything goes according to plan.

On Tuesday Grandma will be buried in the small farming community of Mundulla next to her husband. It will be another large gathering no doubt and a luncheon has been organised for afterwards.

Farewell Grandma. Rest in peace.

My Grandma - What A Great Lady

This morning I received an early phone call. It was one that I knew was coming. My grandma died early in the morning. It has come as a shock to some people and was expected by many others. After reading an email from my Auntie late in the evening I knew what to expect. Deep down I realised that the time had come.

I wrote earlier in the year about how my family visited her in January following a stroke in October. It was quite a shock to see how her health had deteriorated. Even writing a get well card had taken me a month or so to complete such was the feeling, and perhaps non-acceptance, brought about by her condition.

I'd been kept up to date with her situation by family members who have visited on a regular basis. For that I am very grateful.

It was my grandma's 84th birthday a couple of months ago. Miky bought a card, not a birthday card, for her but I couldn't find the courage to write in it. I stared at the card every few days or so but couldn't bring myself to write in it. Last night it hit me that I had to write it. In it I wrote about how much my grandma meant to me and how much we loved her. It took a long time to write. Part of my heart was written into it. It gave me the opportunity to say goodbye - something that I wouldn't have the chance to do in person. Writing that word, goodbye, was very difficult.

Then the phone call came this morning. I felt guilty for taking two months to write in the card and that my grandma wouldn't get to read it. But I've said what I wanted to say and feel much better for it. I still felt the need to post it even though she wouldn't receive it.

I'm sure that the funeral will be large and well attended. One thing not in grandma's favour is the age that she reached as many of her friends, if still alive, won't be able to attend due to probable ill-health or lack of mobility but she has a great many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was a bit of a trailblazer and went bush to be a deputy principal in 1982. She went to China and I get the feeling that she did that around 1980. I still have the dragon that she bought me as a souvenir. A very well educated women she spoke French and German and was even studying for her doctorate until late in her 70s. She was a very inspiring woman. Can't wait until someone writes a book about her.

I've been asked to be a pall bearer at her funeral and I consider this a great honour and a great way to pay respect to a great lady. I hope that she is farewelled in style. At least I'll have another chance to farewell her, if not in person. I need to pay my respects. Someone needs to video the funeral service as I feel that I'll be overcome with emotion and unable to take everything in. They'll be a lot about her that I don't know and I'd love the opportunity to review that at my leisure.