Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Frugal Bastard's Tips To Combine Dieting And Frugality

I realise that there are those of you who struggle with excess weight. I know that there are those of you who struggle because you spend too much money. Allow the Frugal Bastard to bring you some tips to combine dieting and frugality.

1. Don't use Windex like Kim Kardashian as an appetite suppressant. Windex is a name brand and costs more. Save money and go with a store brand like Woolworths or Black & Gold.

2. Go to a gym. Don't make the mistake of paying for an expensive membership though as you would be missing the frugality point. Just ensure that you live at least 10km (6 miles) from the particular gym and you'll be quite tired upon your arrival. The more frugal of you will have ridden a bike rather than driven. Those on the path to frugality will have walked. Bare feet will slow you down and mean that your shoes won't get worn out so quickly either. Less time for eating, you have to go home as well remember, will assist in the dieting aspect.

3. Don't wash your dishes. Not only will you save dish washing liquid, if you are extravagant enough to use it in the first instance, but you'll feel like eating much less food if there is mould on your plate.

4. Brush your teeth before each meal. When you are enlightened enough to realise how expensive toothpaste is you won't feel like wasting it by dirtying your teeth by eating thereby saving food and your waist.

5. Eat soup with a fork. To make this work more effectively don't eat thick, chunky soups but more broth-like soups. This is an acquired skill and will have the added benefit of making you the talk of your work colleagues.

6a. If you're good with cutlery try switching to chopsticks to slow your eating down.
6b. Once you become proficient with chopsticks try eating with only one chopstick. This will not only save on the amount of food you consume but also the washing up.

7. Drink water before every meal. This acts most effectively as an appetite suppressant if you drink a decent volume, e.g. 4.55L (1 gallon [1.2 US gal]). Your stomach won't be able to handle a great deal of food after that.

There you have it. Seven simple tips to enable you to lose weight and fatten your wallet.

Disclaimer: Information and advice provided by Frugal Bastard is not intended as a substitute for proper nutritional advice. It doesn't take your particular circumstances into consideration and may not be suitable for you (or anyone else for that matter). Please take the advice with a pinch of salt (a rather extravagant mineral when combined with food preparation).


Judy said...

LOL - YOu're just silly! Love it!

Anonymous said...

Great but someone could always swallow a glass of parasites and lose a ton of weight including internal organs. Don't try this at home!!

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