Heart Attack Ratings

I, for one, believe that there should be an overhaul of heart attack ratings. Are you sick of hearing about people suffering a mild heart attack and surviving and, seemingly, all those that die suffer from a massive heart attack. I guess you would ruin the family reputation if you succumbed to a mild heart attack. Let's put some real feeling in the level of attack, shall we?

1. What heart attack attack? - barely noticeable.
2. Ouch heart attack - slightly painful.
3. Yikes heart attack - strong stinging sensation.
4. Crikey Moses heart attack - strong pain.
5. Mother-of-God heart attack - this one packs a punch and your family reputation would remain intact.
6. Later dude heart attack - you're a goner.

I guess if you put your mind to it you could make some better suggestions.