Firstly, I should make mention that the following is not my own work and was sent to me by email. But, once you start reading it and notice that it's very funny and well done you'll realise that I wasn't responsible for it anyway.

Port Adelaide Supporter Jokes

Q. Two Port Adelaide supporters jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a Port Adelaide supporter use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.

Q. What does a Port Adelaide supporter use as a contraceptive?
A. His personality.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old female Port Adelaide supporter?
A. Granny.

Q. What do you call a Port Adelaide supporter in a suit?
A. The defendant.

Q. Why did the Port Adelaide supporter cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger, for no reason what so ever.

Q. What do you call a female Port Adelaide supporter in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. If you are driving and you see a Port Adelaide supporter on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q. What's the first question during a Port Adelaide supporter quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

Q. Two Port Adelaide supporters in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman!

Q. Why is three Port Adelaide supporters going over a cliff in Lexus a shame?
A. Because a Lexus has four seats.

Q. What do you say to a Port Adelaide supporter with a job?
A. “Big Mac please.”

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE....

You know you're a Port Adelaide supporter when:

1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of 'most admired people.'
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: 'Hey, watch this.'
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.
9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are: 'Carn the Maggies.'
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels.
11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much petrol is in it.
12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
15. You think 'loaded dishwasher' means your wife is drunk.
16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
17. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five dogs.

Email Material

I don't generally publish material from others but thought that this was good enough to share with the world. So, I'm not taking any credit for writing this - it's just something funny that came via email.

2007 Australian Citizenship Test

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?
2. What is a "bloody little beauty"?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ____
b) You're going home in the back of a ___
c) Fair crack of the ______
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
15. When you go to a bring-your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
22. What does “Sinkin’ piss at a mate’s joint and getten’ para” mean?

You may copy your mates answers, please submit this back to me when you have had a fair old crack.
You must have a pass rate of 45%