Honey, Your Drug Dealer Called

I was cooking tea last night when my wife's mobile rang. She didn't know who it was and spoke for a short time before hanging up. Then she asked if I had called her as someone had put on a strange voice and she thought that it must have been me. A quick look into the kitchen revealed that I was turning fish over in the fry pan at that time so it certainly wasn't me.

Very soon after the phone rang again and the missus wanted me to answer it. The caller ID flashed "Withheld" as the name/number. Hm, not looking promising as the person obviously has something to hide. The guy said his name was Vladimir, Vladimir Korso. Funny how he had an African accent. I asked him why he was calling and he replied, "Have you got my money ready?"
"You mean your drug money that I gave you an IOU for?" I asked, trying to add a bit of humour to the silly situation that was developing.
"Yes, for the cocaine I sold you last week."
I informed this guy that he had the wrong number and should check again before recalling.
"But I can sense it," he said.
At this stage I told him that his senses needed checking and goodbye.

What sort of a drug dealer takes an IOU for a sale?

Ben Cousins Attends Heath Ledger's Funeral

I saw recently that Ben Cousins attended Heath Ledger's funeral. I could say that perhaps he was confused with all the headlines about drugs being involved in Ledger's death and attended the funeral expecting drugs to be on offer, but I won't. I was a bit surprised to see him there. I don't think that they even attended the same school.

Gotta keep in the public eye, I guess.

Heath Ledger - You Pill(ock)

What a dill Heath Ledger is/was. He was found dead this morning in, apparently, Mary-Kate Olsen's apartment, or so the earlier stories went. I believe this may have been retracted. I had my suspicions when I heard that he was surrounded by sleeping pills and not diet pills. I guess we won't be hearing about this on E!-Online, or is that E-News!, as it has nothing to do with ecstasy. I did read that he's been linked recently with Lindsay Lohan but obviously there is no substance in that report. He mustn't have had the connections in Hollywood if he ended it all with sleeping pills and not something a bit harder.

I'm starting to think that maybe he was a Kiwi and not an Aussie. One news report claims he's a Perth boy whereas another tells of his troubles with the paparazzi in his hometown of Sydney. If all of Australia is claiming him then he must be a successful Kiwi.

I blame the Catholic Church for Heath Ledger's death. If they allowed masturbation he would have had a different pastime to while away the hours and boredom instead he resorted to pills.

Do drugs, do yourself in. Idiot. Or pillock. When are these celebrities going to do us a favour and live in the real world? Their fantasy world is not conducive to long, healthy lives.

Stay away from drugs kids. And perhaps the Catholic Church.

Why Didn't Ben Cousins Get To Become A Cheerleader?

Q. Why didn't Ben Cousins become a cheerleader?
A. Because when they started the "Eagles" chant he got to, "Give me an 'E'" and then he'd go to his bag to get one.