Olympic Games Opening Ceremony - Congratulations China, Shame Australian Channel 7

It was with much anticipation that we greeted the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games in Greyjing, er, Beijing.

I was most impressed with the 2008 drummers. The missus was scared as they appeared so regimented and communist. Powerful performance to say the least.

Some 15000 performers were used. I wonder where all of the costumes were made. Surely not in China?

Loved the kids bringing the Chinese flag to the soldiers who then goose-stepped their way to the flagpole. Then came an announcement in French, followed in English which said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the Chinese national anthem," and then a message in Mandarin was broadcast. Roughly translated I guess it said, "Stand up or you will be shot!"

The young girl who was supposed to be playing the piano with one of the world's best pianists, who by coincidence just happened to be Chinese, who became awestruck by the audience, well, I guess she'll never see her parents again after letting her country down so badly.

Enjoyed the people running around like Christmas trees and forming the image of the dove.

I thought that when the performers in white were rushing around that there was going to be a mention of Tiananmen Square in China's history but there was not a tank to be seen.

I enjoyed the performance that the Chinese laid on. The art and fireworks were great. So much history and so little time to show it.

But the truly sad performance of the night came from the Australian commentators on Channel 7 - Sandy Roberts and Bruce MacAvaney. I'm sorry to discover that they're both South Australians.

The first gaff came when Greece entered the arena. Instead of informing us about the stars of the Greek team, the flag bearer, the history of the country at the Olympics, etc, Sandy could only mention that the Greeks had been beset by drug problems and that 11 of their athletes had been caught in drug testing recently. What a disgrace. If Australia was located next to Greece I'm sure this would have been cause for an international incident.

Bruce pronounced Panama as "Pa-nay-muh". Panaymuh? What sort of a wanker is he? He's supposed to be the quintessential sports caster, or "Mastercaster" as some refer to him, and he comes up with Panaymuh?! Doesn't he watch Channel 7's Prison Break which is set in Panama? Not very special, Bruce.

Bruce's introduction of another country left a lot to be desired. Obviously geography wasn't a stong point of his at school as he told Australia that the Central African Republic was a middle-African country. It's a good thing he did or other people not familiar with countries outside of their own borders may have thought that it was in Eastern Europe or Central America.

Perhaps the funniest moment of the opening ceremony was the announcement that the Chinese word for "harmony" was pronounced in Mandarin as "huh". Huh? Yes, what is harmony exactly? We've got two weeks to find out.

Newest Olympic Sport

There should be a new Olympic sport at this years Beijing Olympics. Protesting should make its official Olympic debut. Several countries are partaking in qualifying events in the lead up to the Games. France and the United Kingdom have been at the forefront and the United States has just picked its representatives. Tibet will have a strong field, if allowed into the Olympic Village.

For those of you not familiar with the sport of protesting it borrows much from many other sports. There are elements of wrestling, fencing (or walling - remember the Great Wall of China? It's not just there to keep out the rabbits.), taekwondo and shooting. Let's not forget the discus-like tear gas canister throwing and the cheering on of the team by supporters. One popular rallying cry at the moment is "Free Tibet!"

Competition for places on the teams is fierce and it might even be easier to obtain a position in one of the relay teams. I'm still expecting China to take the gold medal in this event but it will be closely fought. Literally.