Overheard on the Street

Overheard by me, and probably several others, a one way conversation between a cyclist and a BMW X3 (or 5) driver the other day.

"Indicate, you motherf*&#er!!!"

All I could do was give him a thumbs up as he passed. There was nothing that I could add in words. I like a man who speaks his mind.

Taekwondo Grading - Red Belt

Following our Christmas party at work on Friday I was very sore from a day of snorkeling and beach cricket. I didn't train on Friday night but did so on Saturday. Sunday morning I had grading to attempt for 3rd geup - red belt with one stripe.

Nervous as hell. Why do I feel like a kid about to enter an exam before grading? I guess we all are nervous about passing and take nothing for granted. Just couldn't wait to get on with it. By the time you start you done enough pattern practice to really confuse yourself.

Luckily once we started I didn't have to wait, the blue twos did but the blue threes graded, and the nerves faded away. Managed to do my three patterns ok without stuffing them up. Did muck up one of the line exercises but in a more difficult way. Oh well. My jumping back kicks were nothing to write home about and my spinning kicks were far from desirable. At least I didn't fall over and embarrass myself. Sparring was ok.

Then we had to sit and watch the blue twos. One big guy, good friend of mine, had no partner so when it came to self defence and sparring I had to help out. I knew that I would be asked to do this as I am the same size, less 15kg, as him and nobody else at the grading was even close. Man, did I feel stuffed afterwards. When I sat down the girl next to me said, "Are you dead yet?" Yes, it was also a warm day and I did feel knackered.

Reasonable pass so now I'm a red belt. And with that comes responsibility. Ok, maybe there's not too much responsibility. But there were a few bruises.

Just Remember People....

Just remember people - everybody is in a race. The human race. Although some people aren't doing so well and don't look like getting a place.

Just remember people - Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer probably had a severe cold and shouldn't have been out working late especially in that cold weather. He should have joined the union movement and obtained sick leave.

Just remember people - success breeds success but bogans breed bogans.

Just remember people - the way to distinguish between a Muslim and non-Muslim woman during summer is quite easy. The Muslim woman wears non-revealing clothes so that only the eyes can be seen. The non-Muslim woman wears a large pair of designer glasses to hide her eyes and very little clothing.

Just remember people - it takes one to know one but it takes two to tango.

Just remember people - if beauty is in the eye of the beholder then ugly must be kept somewhere else. I'm guessing that it's probably burnt into an area in the brain.

Just remember people - two minute noodles take closer to five minutes to eat so don't believe the hype.

What Would You Do With A Lazy $110 Billion?

It would seem that the US of A has more money than it knows what to do with. Well, it has some useless money, some $110b of it, that it has to guard as it wasn't printed properly. And to think that they cost in the vicinity of $120m to produce it's a rather costly exercise. They aren't sure how the money should be disposed of. Might have to look at making a few suggestions.

What would you do with a lazy US$110b?

- The Yanks could pay off about 0.0795% of their national debt.
- You could buy-out Carlos (Slim) Helú and Bill Gates - Forbes list of billionaires.
- You could get about 75% of BHP Billiton Limited at current market capitalisation.
Argentina's foreign debt could be paid off - Wikipedia List of countries by external debt
- Plenty of nice Pacific islands going cheap enough.
- You may have enough to buy Chelski, er Chelsea.
Put the money in a high interest rate account, say 6.20% at Bankwest, and live off the $6.82b/yr it would pay. But seeing as the maximum in the account is $2m you'd need to set up 5,500 term deposits. And the term is only for 7 months. That would keep you rather busy. Too busy to enjoy your money perhaps.
- Might buy my son an ice cream. Might even buy the Mr Whippy van.
- Pay off my home loan. Buy the bank too.
- Maybe the Yanks could buy the Wikileaks Website.
- Purchase 57.8% of Google.

Any suggestions?

Julian Assange and the Sex by Surprise Charge

So, Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange, has been charged by Swedish authorities with "Sex by surprise". That's a rather strange charge but the linked article explains it relatively well. It's amusing that the Swedish government wants to extradite him from Britain when the maximum penalty is only 5,000 kronor (less than a grand). What's the bet that the US has some interest in the extradition.

If they have a law against sex by surprise surely they must have a law against non-surprising sex. Can you imagine being charged with being unadventurous in bed? In Sweden, of all places?

"You, sir, are boring in bed. You've brought the act of sex into disrepute. You have been charged with non-surprising sex."

What would the punishment be? Free lessons? I've seen the shirt - Sex Instructor - First Lesson Free.

Linkin Park in Concert at Burswood, Perth

The Boy and I went to see Linkin Park in concert at the Burswood Dome on Tuesday night. The support act was a local band called Sleepwalker who weren't too bad but didn't have too many songs that were notable.

I'm afraid to say that the gig wasn't a sellout and they closed the entire upper sections, where I had a ticket, and we were seated a little further back from the stage. I took earmuffs for The Boy and earplugs for myself as my ears were ringing for six days after their concert three years ago. Perhaps that took away from the enjoyment a bit, I'd say a lot actually as I listened to the last song without them and it sounded so much better, so that was a bit of a bummer. I'm getting old. Also, took my camera and filmed a few songs but unfortunately, and I didn't find out until the next day, the sound is distorted as it was so loud. Got a few good photos though. It was still quite an enjoyable night. And those three words at the conclusion of the concert from The Boy meant everything - "Awesome. Thanks Dad".

Mike Shinoda exploding

A little bit more mellow

Nice set and a jumping crowd

If you get the chance to see them on their A Thousand Suns 2010-2011 World Tour do yourself a favour and do so.

Linkin Park in Concert, Perth on Facebook.

Michael Clarke's Bat - Collector's Item

The Sunday Times has a competition whereby you could win Ashes tickets to the match in Perth and meet and greet Michael Clarke and grab his signed Slazenger bat.

Win Michael Clarke's signed bat

Okay, tickets to the match sound great. But will Michael Clarke be at the match as I, and many others, think that he should be dropped as his form with the bat is abysmal? He doesn't deserve to be in the team even if he is the vice captain. Assuming he does get picked for the starting 11 you won't have much time to meet him as he'll either be spending most of the time fielding as the Poms are rather difficult to dismiss currently. If the Aussies are batting you may miss your opportunity to meet him in the frenzied rush to and from the pitch.

At least his bat will be in mint condition. There shouldn't be any nicks or red marks on it as he's hardly put bat on ball this series. Should look just like a bought one.

Gillard Has Declared 2011 a Year of Delivery and Decision for her Government.

So, Julia Gillard has declared 2011 a year of delivery and decision for her government. Well thank goodness the Labor Party has actually achieved something after three years in charge - a decent slogan. Is anybody still buying this shit? And how the hell are you going to increase job opportunities when unemployment is hovering around the 4% mark which is generally regarded as full employment?

Wake up Australia. The years 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 we just as good for delivery and decisions. Still plenty of time this year to deliver and decide. I'm sick of this political spin and bulldust.